Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 59 of 6387
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
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05-18-2022 00:41
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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08-02-2022 01:12
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Not seeing a single action figure at the adult toy store.
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08-03-2022 01:26
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The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
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08-05-2022 02:17
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How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
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04-24-2022 23:17
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When someone is telling a sad story and crying, how long should you wait before taking a bite of your corndog?
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08-03-2022 01:25
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Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
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07-31-2022 23:51
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The border, inflation, and energy crisis are intentional.
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08-04-2022 09:22
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We don’t hear much about people from the Left being allowed back on Twitter. Why? Because blacklisting has been deployed as a one-way operation against the Right.
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01-09-2023 04:19
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
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07-27-2022 00:59
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Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.
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08-02-2022 01:14
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My pronoun is, Welp
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04-19-2022 20:13
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Please keep your opinions and microdroplets to yourself.
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05-06-2022 03:08
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What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
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04-20-2022 12:28
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Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.
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08-18-2022 03:27
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The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
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08-18-2022 03:28
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I look better in person.
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08-18-2022 03:29
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You are the carbon they want to reduce.
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04-04-2022 05:37
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They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.
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08-15-2022 17:41
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That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s, but you still can’t do it.
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07-05-2022 01:53
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