Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 59 of 6387

   messageicon Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
←Rate | 05-18-2022 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not seeing a single action figure at the adult toy store.
←Rate | 08-03-2022 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
←Rate | 08-05-2022 02:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
←Rate | 04-24-2022 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone is telling a sad story and crying, how long should you wait before taking a bite of your corndog?
←Rate | 08-03-2022 01:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
←Rate | 07-31-2022 23:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The border, inflation, and energy crisis are intentional.
←Rate | 08-04-2022 09:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We don’t hear much about people from the Left being allowed back on Twitter. Why? Because blacklisting has been deployed as a one-way operation against the Right.
←Rate | 01-09-2023 04:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
←Rate | 07-27-2022 00:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pronoun is, Welp
←Rate | 04-19-2022 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please keep your opinions and microdroplets to yourself.
←Rate | 05-06-2022 03:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
←Rate | 04-20-2022 12:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I look better in person.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are the carbon they want to reduce.
←Rate | 04-04-2022 05:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s, but you still can’t do it.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:53 Comments (0)  




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