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Just because you're a Navy SEAL doesn't make your sister pretty.
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06-17-2010 16:08
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If this day were any better, I'd be pulling my pecker out from under an anvil...
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06-17-2010 16:06
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0110001001101111011011110110001001110011 hint: binary
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06-17-2010 16:03
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Never go to Traffic Court and say, "Shut up, Your Honor...I'm not done talking."
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06-17-2010 16:00
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What do BP executives and my wife have in common? Neither has done any real pipe work in 54 days.
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06-17-2010 15:14
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Just sprayed my wife with Axe body spray. Now I'm just waiting for a bunch of hot chicks to come rip her clothes off like on those commercials.
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06-17-2010 15:04 by
mat2sm00th
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When you are SINGLE all you see are happy couples.... When you are COMMITTED all you see are happy SINGLES!!! ;-)
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06-17-2010 14:52
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busy playing with his Shake Weight.
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06-17-2010 14:50
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It was all so different before everything changed.
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06-17-2010 14:38 by
Aaron
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wondering why they don't simply cover the oil spill with a HUGE portion of kitty litter.
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06-17-2010 13:20 by
hamm
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The smoke alarm just went off....dinners ready!
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06-17-2010 12:47 by
bubba
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I use to hear snap crackle pop, and think of breakfast time. Now I hear it, I think I had better get out of this chair.
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06-17-2010 12:44 by
bubba
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Just figured out how to stop the oil spill! Put a wedding ring on it and it will never put out again.
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06-17-2010 12:10 by
Michael
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..The big bad wolf tells little red riding hood to suck his d*ck. She says... "Look f*cker! stick with the story, You're supposed to eat ME!"
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06-17-2010 10:34
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RT @latinjns Jeremiah 28:11 He has a plan for your life, trust him to lead and guide you.....//Yes Lord!
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06-17-2010 10:33
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Dear Celtics and Laker Fans God will be ignoring all your request for a victory tonight so don't waste your prayers....
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06-17-2010 10:26
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wishes the hair on his face would grow in as dark and as thick as the hair on his butt!!
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06-17-2010 10:17 by
pizzapal
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the plastic things at the end of the shoelaces are called aglets and their real purpose is sinister
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06-17-2010 09:43
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not illiterate...my parents were married!
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06-17-2010 09:21 by
joycey
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Hi! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a spider. And I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could.
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06-17-2010 08:36 by
JeremyCakes
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