Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I may not be always right but I'm never wrong
←Rate | 10-12-2009 21:12 by Mr. King Comments (0)  

   messageicon this day sucks worse than time I got lost in Oakland California
←Rate | 10-12-2009 20:00 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon : How do you keep a facebook friend busy? Refresh this screen to find the answer.
←Rate | 10-12-2009 18:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon says don't ring the RSPCA if your boyfriend says he wants to kick your puppy... he's just using predictive text
←Rate | 10-12-2009 16:30 by Marie- Jane O\'Flange | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering what the Easter bunny is doing right now?
←Rate | 10-12-2009 09:37 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon - in the year 2010 the AUS government will be shipping all retards away. My eyes watered when I thought of losing you. Be strong. Take your crayons.
←Rate | 10-12-2009 06:41 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon its kind of fun to do the impossible
←Rate | 10-12-2009 05:50 by Ad | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon not perfect, but He still loves me, Not good enough but she still hugs me, NOT Bill Gates but they still mug me!
←Rate | 10-12-2009 04:27 by Sammy Z | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..hates her internal clock. It doesn't have a snooze button and it hurts to throw herself across the room..
←Rate | 10-12-2009 02:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to thank his liver for all the support, this weekend . . . Couldnt have done it without you, old friend !
←Rate | 10-12-2009 01:28 by Healey316 Comments (0)  

   messageicon While stepping over the broken bodies and blood spattered glass, my heart sank as I suddenly realized that the burrito shop was closed.
←Rate | 10-11-2009 22:42 by Daniel | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Playing hide and seek with boredom... I found it!
←Rate | 10-11-2009 20:07 by RAGNAROCK Comments (0)  

   messageicon has never given much credence to holidays given to directionally challenged Italians, but this year he has decided that Columbus shall be a work holiday!!!
←Rate | 10-11-2009 18:43 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never argue with an idiot,they drag you down to thr level than beat you with experience
←Rate | 10-11-2009 18:43 by Irwin Smith | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's status.
←Rate | 10-11-2009 17:35 by ZACHYPOO | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
←Rate | 10-11-2009 17:33 by ZACHYPOO | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon is Loading ████████████ 99%
←Rate | 10-11-2009 17:30 by ZACHYPOO Comments (0)  

←Rate | 10-11-2009 16:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me...It's Sunday.
←Rate | 10-11-2009 16:40 by Vito Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you realise that in 40 years time,there will be alot of old ladies walking around with tatoos
←Rate | 10-11-2009 10:58 by Irwin Smith Comments (0)  

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