bego Funny Status Messages

   DEAR HATERS, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT....'awesome' ends with "me"and 'ugly' starts with "u"

   She came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, she damn left & I was hurt!!... stupid mosquito!

   Spent 15 damn minutes looking for my phone in the car last night while using my phone asa a light, yup that high..

   Guys: Wow, her status is dumb. but she's cute, so I'm going to like it.

   I hate when I miss a call by a few seconds, call the person back and they don`t answer.

   I don't care what the world knows about me just so long as my parents never finds out

   If you're single and looking to score, never bring girls to a bar... that's like bringing apples to an orchard.

   I don't play "Hard To Get" , I play "Never Going To Happen"

   Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.

   Putting you're offline chat on Facebook so it actually looks like you have a life and don't sit on Facebook all day.

   Taco Bell sells tacos. Whataburger sells burgers. Chicken Express sells chicken. Panda Express are lying basta?ds!

   A moment of silence for all the brave coffee beans that gave their lives, so millions of people can get through another day.

   Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give to some people.

   Facebook is the best way to prove that you made the right decision when you broke up with that person you dated in high school.

   When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 16.

   I'm going to open a store next to FOREVER 21 and call it "FINALLY 22".....

   (Person:) Do you know how many calories are in that?! (Me:) Do you know how many f**ks I don't give?

   They should invent a snooze button that hits back.

   ''Are you free tomorrow?'' No, i'm expensive.

   Username or Password Incorrect” … You couldn't just tell me which one?