Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon BREAKING: NINTH CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEALS OVERTURNS TRUMP'S TURKEY PARDONS.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An untalented gymnast walks into a bar....
←Rate | 11-21-2017 16:28 by Sammy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chuck Schumer just released a new book, it's called; "How to Be a Giant Jack A$$"
←Rate | 11-21-2017 18:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Steyer just donated 25 million to the, "Let's Get REALLY Dumb Foundation"
←Rate | 11-21-2017 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please buy my new book: Losing weight while staying drunk.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 19:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 21:52 by UKGuy Comments (0)  


   messageicon [Watching Porn] How is there not lipstick everywhere?!
←Rate | 11-22-2017 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
←Rate | 11-22-2017 02:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this Thanksgiving I am thankful to all of your post that make me look funny on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-22-2017 06:30 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
←Rate | 11-24-2017 22:59 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Went to a Black Friday thing a my sweetheart’s house… all clothes were 100% off.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 05:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it was a rough night when your iPhone X doesn't recognize your face in the morning...
←Rate | 11-25-2017 09:02 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexican words of the day: Bishop and Lysol. Will somebody please shut that Hillary Bishop. She Lysol the time.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 19:38 Comments (5)  


   messageicon Gonorrhea would have been a good name for a diarrhea medicine... #DeepThoughts
←Rate | 11-25-2017 19:40 by UncleBubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 23:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you’re only 14 and you have no friends. This is what you do?
←Rate | 11-26-2017 04:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t play it safe and have fun; but with fun, there comes a price.
←Rate | 11-26-2017 04:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claustrophobic : A person afraid of Santa Claus
←Rate | 11-26-2017 07:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just been to the gym for the 5th time in a week, and people are saying things like "well done!", "that's so impressive!", and "you can't come in here just to use the vending machine
←Rate | 11-26-2017 10:59 by Tallmtnman Comments (1)  


   messageicon Gun sales hit #1 record for a Black Friday sales item.
←Rate | 11-27-2017 04:50 Comments (3)  




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