Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5774 of 6370
So many input boxes. Ever go to search for a girl on facebook and set her name as your status instead? Me either."
Every Morning I wake up and think, "Don't let it slip about Darth Vader being Luke's Dad." It's hard having a 5 year old who doesn't KNOW.
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07-13-2010 21:51
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I get really uncomfortable when people ask questions about sex. Like: "Is that it?"
it's happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it's no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave."
enjoys when his girlfriend's bikini top accidentally comes off while frolicking in the ocean.
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07-13-2010 21:29
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I'm disturbed by the Activia 14-day Challenge. Why do they want a video? Proof of the giant BM after eating copious amounts of fiber for 2 weeks?!
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07-13-2010 20:52 by sheenah
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Llamas rule the world! And Petting Zoos!
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07-13-2010 20:39 by RFBROW
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super excited we got away from your parents this weekend...now if we could only lose your husband/wife....
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07-13-2010 20:37
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so happy we finally landed on the moon!!
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07-13-2010 20:35
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I just googled cleveland & google said no matches found the city has disappeared
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07-13-2010 20:02 by Joser
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My neighbor just got one of those expensive new invisible fences. What a dumb@ss, I can still see him.
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07-13-2010 20:00 by Joser
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You know what would make this Pina Colada better? Cancun.
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07-13-2010 20:00 by Joser
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Neighbors have a leash on their tree, but they let the dog run free. Poor tree
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07-13-2010 19:59 by Joser
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if you are reading this you love lesbians!
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07-13-2010 19:58 by SLAYER
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One hair on your head is not enough...but one hair in your food is too much.
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07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser
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Dude, if you really want Jessie's girl, find out her name.
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07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser
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Starting a sentence with "I don't want to sound creepy but" doesn't de-creepify the rest of the sentence.
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07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser
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Just before I die I'm going to get my hand stamped in case I want to come back in.
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07-13-2010 19:57 by Joser
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Officer, I was not "texting" while driving. I was "watching a movie on my iPad"
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07-13-2010 19:57 by Joser
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The Makers of K-2 has just come out with another break through synthetic, called J-2. Its Synthetic Jesus in incense form. No need to go to church now, you are automatically saved from hell fire and damnation! Side effects may include speaking in tongues.
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07-13-2010 19:56 by George
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