Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5768 of 6370
I may not meet my wife in college...But I damn sure have met my bros throwing my bachelor party
I stood in front of a mirror for 10 minutes to watch myself blink... I missed it everytime!
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07-15-2010 12:36 by geez
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trying to find Osama is like trying to find Waldo....I give up.
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07-15-2010 12:35
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Shakeweight.......most akward way of working out xD
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07-15-2010 12:22 by Shyloh
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IPhone 4 should have just came out on T-Mobile b/c they have one thing in~\..........Hello, Hello...../~common
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07-15-2010 12:14 by @Steady
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Scientists they don't know why this is true, but it's true. Women with big rear ends live longer.. Men who tell them that, Don't."
Oh didnt I tell you? Must have been none of your f*cking business."
if Silvia Brown wanted to really impress me, she should send me a note telling me that she knows that I'm not gonna be at her concert.
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07-15-2010 11:30
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If at the end of your life you have no regrets, you did it wrong.
Attn BP: When this is all over, will the Gulf of Mexico be regular, midgrade or premium?
I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
I've been embraced by reality... does anyone know how to make it let go?
I've invented a new low-intensity cardio workout that requires me to lay completely still on the couch.
says Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" use to be a punishment...
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07-15-2010 10:31
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Dyson has a line of fans to add to their line of vacuums. Dysonnow proudly makes products that sucks and blows.
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07-15-2010 10:09 by sheenah
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Figuring out the three seashells thing is a very messy business...
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07-15-2010 09:18
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Don't call my name, Cilantro!
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07-15-2010 08:58 by Josh
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Really really really wants to zigazig ha
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07-15-2010 08:48 by Dunno
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Pain is nature's way of saying "Don't do that." - Painkillers are mankind's way of saying "F*ck it ... go ahead"
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07-15-2010 08:29 by @clarkysj
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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
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07-15-2010 08:05
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