Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5759 of 6370
just seen a man wearing pinki capri's, must be a foreigner..
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07-19-2010 01:23 by Uche617
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If you are brave to say "good bye", life will reward you with a new "hello"
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07-19-2010 00:15 by BEGO
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There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works
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07-18-2010 23:42 by RoN
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When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it certainly doesn't not mean I'm listening.
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07-18-2010 23:38
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She came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, she damn left & I was hurt!!... stupid mosquito!
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07-18-2010 23:32 by BEGO
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Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry?
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07-18-2010 23:12 by BEGO
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Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children
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07-18-2010 22:40 by BEGO
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Ladies, just a reminder...the same rule applies to spray tans as is does to Make up...less is more!
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07-18-2010 22:21
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OK Fellas, this one is for you. Be careful who you pick up and take to bed. With wigs, weaves, fake nails, padded bras and pants; you could go to be with a girl that looks like Janet Jackson and wake up with one that looks like Tito!
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07-18-2010 22:18
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I love haters! they're always thinkin of me!
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07-18-2010 22:07
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If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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07-18-2010 22:00 by LJG
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How is my Facebooking? call 1-800-DIS-LIKE
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07-18-2010 21:23
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has status electricity...if you get too close there maybe status friction and you'll get status shock.
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07-18-2010 21:23
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if you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation... Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
Men - Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. We don't want you to lose that ability... we want her to.
When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it doesn't even mean I'm listening.
there a logical reason why Chelsea Clinton looks more like Janet Reno than Bill Clinton?
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07-18-2010 21:00
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Hey...so, how do you like these 4 foot high walls here in the Mens room?...See that Mariner game last night? Nice belt...Alligator? You have a piece of chive in your teeth...umm, ok, well..whatcha say we just do the wipe thing at the same time and split?
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07-18-2010 20:58
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If Goth kids are supposed to be "non-conformist," then why do they all look alike?
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07-18-2010 20:24
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Cool like the other side of the pillow.
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07-18-2010 20:06
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