Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 5708 of 5811

   messageicon switching up on you ordinary b!tchesss.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 14:33 by BARBZ_DA_BOSS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am perfection in the realm of understanding without comprehension in the abyss of normality.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 14:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon am no gynaecologist but am gonna look anyway!!!!!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there sure is going to be a lot of people losing their virginity in the year 2012.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 12:44 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML
←Rate | 11-12-2009 12:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I" before "E" except after "C"...... WEIRD...
←Rate | 11-12-2009 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon does not know that the bird is the word.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon W.T.F. - Wednesday, Thursday, Friday...the weekend's almost here!!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy marshmallows, which are kinda the same thing.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to start speaking my mind because my tongue is starting to hurt from biting it!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates when people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates people who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates when people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates people who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates when you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???
←Rate | 11-12-2009 11:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon having an I will never drink again moment!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if he's the only one who thinks the lady who got attacked by a chimp and showed her face on Oprah looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle
←Rate | 11-12-2009 08:56 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon flying without wings... after discovering beans and onion together~
←Rate | 11-12-2009 08:45 by Juliete Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll tell you something about Lapinski. When she gets a gas bill, she writes all over it with a thick black felt tip, THIS DOES NOT EXIST, and sends it to the gas board
←Rate | 11-12-2009 07:03 by Juliete Cook Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius
←Rate | 11-12-2009 01:28 by Pineapple Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left