Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Has a box of tissues,some lotion and a picture of you , I better get a bigger box of tissues .
←Rate | 08-05-2010 23:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not suffering from Schizophrenia, he/she's quite enjoying it. and so am I.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 22:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jersey Shore is on tonight? I guess I need to figure out how to get these Valtrex into my DirecTV box then.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:51 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon California judge overturns Proposition 8 gay marriage ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server crashes
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:46 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon Better to have people think you are an idiot then opening your mouth and proving them right
←Rate | 08-05-2010 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the frozen food section at Sam's looking for horny milfs with erect nipples
←Rate | 08-05-2010 20:45 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon IRISH and PROUD!
←Rate | 08-05-2010 18:10 by SLAYER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people
←Rate | 08-05-2010 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI: Do not buy Activia yogurt if you do not need it for the reasons advertised. Not even if it's on sale and you have a $1 coupon and it's double coupon daze at the store...unless you like stabbing abdominal pains and blaming lots of stuff on the dog.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you ever notice that Chris Brown, Usher, Nelly and 55 Cent look exactly like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles???
←Rate | 08-05-2010 16:36 by Adi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook really wanted to shake things up, they would introduce a thumbs-down "hate" button.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 15:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In case you were wondering, this is how you say "bite my shiny metal ass" in Italian: "baciate il mio scintillante fondoschiena metallico..."
←Rate | 08-05-2010 15:12 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who finds that Knock-Knock jokes are funnier when they're told to homeless people?
←Rate | 08-05-2010 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonder if being a parcel delivery person has its UPS and downs.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 14:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need less work days & more snack days....
←Rate | 08-05-2010 14:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott went sailing together, and the boat capsized, who would be saved? Australia.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 14:08 by proxy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish Brett Favre would stop texting me photos of himself. The guy is getting out of control.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 13:59 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks there should be a Shart Week!
←Rate | 08-05-2010 13:15 by gb Comments (7)  


   messageicon On the Electrician's Truck... "Let Us Remove Your Shorts"
←Rate | 08-05-2010 12:49 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack? If not, you're wondering now. Have a nice day ..
←Rate | 08-05-2010 12:06 by status thief Comments (1)  




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