bego Funny Status Messages

   Hulu is coming to PS3. Finally I can watch TV on my TV.

   Sometimes you want someone so bad, youll tell yourself lies &hope they come true.

   If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it.

   Just remember, someone loves everything you hate about yourself.

   A few simple tips: 1. Don't promise when you're happy. 2. Don't reply when you're angry. 3. Don't decide when you're sad.

   For Easter I'm gonna get really drunk and hide a whole bunch of eggs, wake up sober and have an Easter egg hunt with myself!

   Sometimes relationships don't work out because of timing, but most of the time it's because someone is an as$hole.

   I think cops should yell "PICKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" before they taze someone

   Your parents payed your iPhone, MacBook and bought you car? And they're paying for your school? Please, tell me how hard your life is.

   Nobody should regret anything that made them smile.

   When I'm in the shower I let the water run down my arms so it looks like I'm shooting water out of my fingertips

   We can talk to astronauts in space, but we can't get phone reception inside elevators.

   When I call my parents, and they don't answer it's no big deal but when they call me and I don't answer it's like World War II.

   To the people who upload full movies to YouTube: Get a life…also, thank you.

   If you take relationship advice from Taco Bell hot sauce packets... Congrats, you have reached rock bottom.

   With all the people on my back, it's a miracle I can even walk.

   The more I hear about other people's relationship drama, the happier I am that I'm single. :

   Reading your best friend's status and thinking, "Ha! I know exactly who that's about!"

   When it comes to kicking someones ass I'm brave but when it comes to telling you how I feel I'm as weak as a toothpic

   See what happens when you name a hurricane after a man! He won't ask directions, wanders around lost, leaves a mess and doesn't clean up after himself!