Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 5694 of 5820

   messageicon Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 20:14 by Crewz Comments (1)  


   messageicon Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you're up to. :)
←Rate | 02-15-2018 21:11 by Justathought Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money may not buy happiness. But it take the sting out of being miserable.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 22:51 by Justathought Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once the authorities say the shooter suffers from mental issues, then you automatically know its code for he is a white male.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 03:22 Comments (1)  


   messageicon جمعية البراري, translation “l f@&k goats”
←Rate | 02-16-2018 03:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs to make a "Slap you in the face with a dictionary" button
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In ancient greece, throwing an apple at a woman , was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.......Still it is on.......Throw an Apple iPhone 8 & she will definitely say YES
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If men Honestly answered facebook question ; What's on your mind? Facebook would turn into a pornsite
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 21) For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
←Rate | 02-16-2018 09:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 18 school shootings since Jan. 1st...by the same generation that eats laundry detergent...and you wanna say we have a gun problem.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 11:12 by Mas Comments (3)  


   messageicon Another Playboy model has come out, saying she had an affair with Trump, 2 years into his marriage with Melania. Trump, you horny old goat, you!
←Rate | 02-16-2018 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets behonest.. Apart from "I love you" and "I miss you" which other jokes do you know? ??
←Rate | 02-16-2018 12:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Buys a cheap box of wine and parties like it’s $19.99
←Rate | 02-16-2018 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every post since the school shooting: [outrage] [your personal agenda] [hashtag catchy slogan]
←Rate | 02-16-2018 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another school shooting? Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't go to school with a bunch of white kids....
←Rate | 02-16-2018 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The government and a duck have something in common. They both can stick their bills up their (_|_) :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget boys and girls: IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING! So the FBI can ignore you and let the shooter go ahead and so his thing.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After a night of passion, I told my new girlfriend that she was the frist one I've ever been with. She smiled and said really? I said yea, the other's were sevens and eights. :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a human cannibal is the only job where you can be fired evey day and still keep your job :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:54 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Be the reason someone smiles today
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:58 by Justathought Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left