Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Space Force: Make the galaxy great again.

   I hate it when I click on a porn video and I can see myself in the screen while it's loading?

   Good morning to everyone except if your name starts with S, just like my ex’s.

   Why don't the rename Chicago Obama too since it went so well during his tenure?

   An Einstein bagel and a Smart Water for breakfast... Somehow I feel dumb paying $13 for that.

   The joke's on you, internet cookies. I clicked that ad you keep showing by accident!

   When will the Death Star be completed by our Space Force program?

   I'm just here to offer you a glimmer of nope.

   How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?

   There's no place like space. There's no place like space. There's no place like space. Oh aunty Em.

   this new "space force" we're going to have....will basic training include making the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs

   I stuff the holes in Swiss cheese with other cheeses.

   I take my irresponsibilities seriously.

   Nothing good ever starts with ‘Got a minute?’.

   Of course I have countless friends. They’re called songs on my playlist. .

   There is a thin line between hating a person’s behavior with hating the actual person.

   One of the circus freaks of the future will be the incredible non-tattooed man!

   I never go to bed with ugly women. But somehow I wake up with them.

   So whats are you all doing tonight? - Using social networking for what its intended for.

   Korean scientists have announced that have successfully cloned two Macaques! It's impossible to tell them apart..said one of the monkeys!!