Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5681 of 6370
Looking through a girls photos and thinking "slut..slut..slut..slut" :D
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08-17-2010 02:33
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I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
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08-16-2010 23:45 by Tracy
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16-year-old Taylor Momsen says her best friend is her vibrator. In other news, Justin Bieber says he never goes anywhere without his buttplug.
On an upcoming episode of "man vs wild" Bear encounters a crododile, shark invested waters and his most dangerous incounter, an out of control jet blue flight attendent.
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08-16-2010 21:33
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whenever somebody says "Stop Laughing! It's not funny you guys" means "It's funny, just lets please laugh about it later"
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08-16-2010 21:18 by Dylan
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There has been a study conducted that claims that teens that have sex do not always get bad grades. This is especially true if they are having sex with their teachers.
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08-16-2010 20:52
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Mom: With always having to pick up after you kids you'd think I'd be skinny. Kid: Just think how big you'd be if you didn't...
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08-16-2010 20:46
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so for some reason actually saw 5 minutes of twilight which has me placing garlic in all the toilets because pretty sure that's how vampires now enter your house
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08-16-2010 20:12
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It's never a good sign when you've exhausted your daily website routine within the first hour of being at work.
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08-16-2010 19:32
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Kids today will never experience the joy and excitement of hearing the sound of dial up internet actually connecting.
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08-16-2010 19:31
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Man, that .01% of germs that can't be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad ass sh*t.
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08-16-2010 19:29
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I hate when I plan out a conversation with someone in my head and they don't follow the script.
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08-16-2010 19:27
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They say behind every successful man is a woman. So whoever you are, come out here where I can see your face!
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08-16-2010 19:11
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"I've just about had it with you using up all my patience!"
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08-16-2010 18:58
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How come nobody ever says "everything happens for a reason" after something good happens?
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08-16-2010 18:55
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this is not a joke.....if an application for a dislike button comes up on your facebook DO NOT OPEN IT....it is a scam.Just thought I'd warn you folks!
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08-16-2010 18:51
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it me or 80% of handicap people don't actually suffer any handicapped situations at all.
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08-16-2010 18:27 by Mr.CuteB
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realized his neighbors are devotion Catholic couple. He usually hears them yellin' "Oh! Jesus" every night.
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08-16-2010 18:22 by Mr.CuteB
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wondering what Tennesse Titans' nickname is, giving that Jacksonville Jaguars is "Jags" and Tampa Bay Bucaneers is "Bucs".
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08-16-2010 18:10
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A guy preaching in town today said to me"Madam do you believe in the second coming?" I said "with my hushusbandband I'm lucky if I come once!" I'm lucky if
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08-16-2010 18:00
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