Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5651 of 6369
I'm never going to grow up. I'm just going to stop hiding what I do from my parents and start hiding it from my kids.
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08-26-2010 16:54 by MBH
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Money can't buy happiness? I just bought THE best package of vanilla frosting covered cupcakes of all time, for $5. I'm happier than a dog with two peters.
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08-26-2010 16:54
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... CAT RULE #2: Get plenty of sleep so you can play at 4am
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08-26-2010 16:51 by MBH
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I just got a job that pays .000002 million!!
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08-26-2010 16:47 by MBH
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Obama says... It would be very helpful to me if the rest of you would please stop striving for excellence.
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08-26-2010 16:45 by MBH
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When I get rich the first thing I'm going to do is to buy a new butt, because the one I have now has a crack in it.
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08-26-2010 16:42 by MBH
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The fastest way to get ahold of a live person at AT&T is to scream obscenities at the voice prompts.
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08-26-2010 16:41 by MBH
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So gingivitis isn't the fear of redheads?
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08-26-2010 16:40 by MBH
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All you get when you pick my pocket is practice...
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08-26-2010 16:17 by Aaron
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Like Superman, I have a Fortress of Solitude. But mine flushes.
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08-26-2010 16:15 by Aaron
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On this date in 2005 Hurricane Katrina blow more black guys in one day then...Lisa Lampanelli has in 15 years...
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08-26-2010 15:21 by Todd R
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throwing the new MySpace Profile out with the trash where it belongs :)
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08-26-2010 14:25 by David
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Boy says to girl; "have you ever had a Australian kiss?" Girl says; "whats that?" Boy says; "it's like a french kiss, but down undaa."
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08-26-2010 14:08 by randy
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dressed up feeling like a million bucks but I wish I wasn't so broke...
I'm never going to grow up. I'm just going to stop hiding what I do from my parents and start hiding it from my kids
Habits, babies, and promises. All are way easier to make than keep
Motorola is coming out with a new droid phone called the Kobe... conversely, they are also coming out with the Lebron phone too, except the only difference is it doesn't RING.
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08-26-2010 12:23 by geez
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planning to suprise the IRS next year by filing his 2010 Tax Return by sending a singing telegram.
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08-26-2010 12:21
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Motorola is coming out with a new droid phone called the Kobe... conversely, they are always coming out with the Lebron phone too, except the only difference is it doesn't RING.
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08-26-2010 12:00 by geez
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I read where the main Ingredient of Viagra was Miracle Grow and Fit-A-Flat....
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08-26-2010 11:43 by RLL
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