Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and, consequently, I will never be ending an important email with the phrase "Regards" again.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon had big dreams as a little kid... now they're HUGE!!! :)
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:27 by Chachita Comments (0)  

   messageicon that we need to stop the insanity by not drinking more of that hatorade!
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon WAIT!... I'm still Loading ████████████ 99%
←Rate | 11-04-2009 09:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My grandmother has false teeth. I can't believe a word she says.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 08:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon always proof read to make sure you dont any of the words out
←Rate | 11-04-2009 06:56 by snapper Comments (0)  

   messageicon The wheel is still spinning but the hamster died.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 02:03 by 8) Comments (0)  

   messageicon This status update is brought to you by your drug addiction to facebook.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:57 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:46 by 8) Comments (0)  

   messageicon If racism never existed, what do you get?.......Smarter people for one.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:29 by 8) Comments (0)  

   messageicon Unfortunately, there is no vaccine against stupidity...
←Rate | 11-04-2009 01:25 by 8) Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ugh....Human Beings. I wish my leaders gave me fair warning about this place before they dropped me off here.
←Rate | 11-04-2009 00:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon i just ordered a snuggie for dogs and I dont even have a dog... I just want to burn it because its the stupidest thing ive ever seen
←Rate | 11-03-2009 22:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..was reading the bookThe Dog That Never Dies. She couldn't put it down.
←Rate | 11-03-2009 19:19 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon pitching a tip to George Lucas for a new robot in the next Star Wars, the H1N1.
←Rate | 11-03-2009 19:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I wonder.."Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.....
←Rate | 11-03-2009 17:33 by seanyb Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am like a freaking Hallmark card..I care enough to post the very best!!
←Rate | 11-03-2009 17:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon on the air, go ahead caller what is your request?
←Rate | 11-03-2009 17:12 by rdn1 Comments (0)  

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