Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 09:37 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!
←Rate | 03-23-2010 09:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering " Why Beyonce not wearing a G-string in Telephone Video with Lady Gaga??"
←Rate | 03-23-2010 09:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon instead of fighting over healthcare the government should give everyone skittles because they make everyone happy!
←Rate | 03-23-2010 08:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon effective way of getting back at someone is to ask them a yes or no question like this - "Have you stopped putting your head up ur a$$ these days ?"
←Rate | 03-23-2010 07:57 by SH Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pobody's nerfect. :)
←Rate | 03-23-2010 06:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a good listener (under the current definition of Kin Hubbard:"a good listener is usually thinking of something else")
←Rate | 03-23-2010 06:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There once was a gal named Jill who took an exploding pill. They found her vagina in North Carolina and her tits in a tree in Brazil.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 04:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to have you naked by the end of ths status
←Rate | 03-23-2010 03:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon asks Where Were You When the Republic Died?
←Rate | 03-23-2010 02:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be my Tom and I will be your Jerry.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 02:24 by SHUBHrOX Comments (0)  

   messageicon A bit of a Procrastanator, i've been meaning to put that as my status since last week!
←Rate | 03-22-2010 23:50 by Vanessa1982 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Irony: a fat guy at walmart getting his blood pressure checked with two big bags of doritos in his other hand:D
←Rate | 03-22-2010 23:46 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon really thinks that the best method for retaining a healthy, youthful look is probably still one of the oldest methods: bathing in the blood of virgins.
←Rate | 03-22-2010 22:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ever notice that when a story starts out with "I swear that I'm not sh*tting you"...they ARE sh*tting you?
←Rate | 03-22-2010 20:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had to take my paycheck to the bank. It was too little to go all by itself.
←Rate | 03-22-2010 19:23 by Spass Comments (0)  

   messageicon The truth hurts... and I don't carry band-aids...
←Rate | 03-22-2010 19:01 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I was blown away when I realised the word ' OK ' is a side ways person,...
←Rate | 03-22-2010 18:33 by Samir Momin Comments (5)  

   messageicon I get worried when I see a pattern on my multiple choice sheet....
←Rate | 03-22-2010 18:27 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon My name is_____ and I can never find a key chain with my name on it...
←Rate | 03-22-2010 18:23 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

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