Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5646 of 6446

the doctor x-rayed my head an found nothng...
←Rate |
09-27-2010 11:51
Comments (0)

....and now the sequence of events in no particular order
←Rate |
09-27-2010 11:49
Comments (0)

i think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a women
←Rate |
09-27-2010 11:44
Comments (0)

RELATIONSHIP: A bond between two people; One person works to create/maintain love and fufillment while the other person waits for something better to come along....:(
←Rate |
09-27-2010 11:35
Comments (0)

**best way to be noticed in a bank** EVERYBODY FREEZE!....did anybody else feel that earthquake?
←Rate |
09-27-2010 11:24 by @TeeWuu86
Comments (0)

says, "Hello Monday..." the same way Jerry Seinfeld says, "Hello Newman..."
←Rate |
09-27-2010 10:30 by Mike M
Comments (0)

MMMmmmm just saw an ad for the New Playstation "Move".......... looks amazingly like Wii........ 3 years later...Way to stay on top of your game there Sony... just like coming out with your MP3 player after the I-Pod.....
←Rate |
09-27-2010 08:53
Comments (0)

Just remember the knight in shining armor just might be an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.
←Rate |
09-27-2010 07:29 by Shentin
Comments (0)

wonders if there is a manly way to eat a banana??
←Rate |
09-27-2010 03:58 by Heather25
Comments (2)

Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.
←Rate |
09-27-2010 03:52 by Heather25
Comments (0)

You did WHAT?? With WHO?? Behind WHAT barn?? For how many COOKIES!?!?
←Rate |
09-27-2010 03:51 by Heather25
Comments (0)

Trust me, if I want your opinion-I'll remove the f*cking duct tape.
←Rate |
09-27-2010 03:49 by Heather25
Comments (0)

Good morning Monday...now get outta my face!
←Rate |
09-27-2010 03:29 by Tex
Comments (0)

would like to live the life of a Bachelorette.. you know, date multiple guys and have them all be OK with it.. :0/
←Rate |
09-27-2010 03:26
Comments (0)

if you think being weak is meak, try being meak for a week
←Rate |
09-27-2010 02:03
Comments (2)

People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church.
←Rate |
09-27-2010 02:01
Comments (0)

battery operated boyfriend is the best man I ever known! does what I tell him and hums while he does it
←Rate |
09-27-2010 01:15
Comments (2)

not a performance , and is not here for personal entertainment or enlightenment !
←Rate |
09-27-2010 00:47
Comments (0)

Money can only buy imitation happiness. I would be happy with that.
←Rate |
09-27-2010 00:44
Comments (0)

you know you're getting OLD when your BRAND NEW car you drove in high school now qualifies for an ANTIQUE car tag.