Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5629 of 6370
I don't run from my problems.i sit on the couch,play with my phone,and ignore them like all other adults.
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03-09-2018 23:25
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2 idians running water and falling rocks went hunting in the mountains But only running water returned back to the tribe A scout went looking for falling rocks but never found him And to this day you'll see signs in the mountains watchout for falling rock
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03-10-2018 01:07
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I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams
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03-10-2018 04:26
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You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn bonanza in your address bar
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03-10-2018 04:27
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"Just kidding!" is one of the biggest lies there is......
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03-10-2018 04:27
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The forest was shrinking yet trees kept voting for the AXE because its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.
Be a good person, but don’t waste time proving it.
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03-10-2018 08:09
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From Cuddly to Stabby in 60 seconds. - a memoir
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03-10-2018 09:09
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I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user.
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03-10-2018 09:11
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I remember back when my "car seat" was the back window shelf of my mom's 63 Plymouth Valiant
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03-10-2018 09:11
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Chameleon cashiers give the best change
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03-10-2018 09:13
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You know how people duck when they walk under helicopter blades? I don't.
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03-10-2018 09:13
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According to this captcha page I am a robot -- what a way to find out. Who knew?
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03-10-2018 09:14
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OK I get it, two wrongs don't make a right. But what are talking here? 500? 600? I am almost to 600.
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03-10-2018 09:16
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I am about to order a Code Red and one of my kids is going to be surprised that he is Private Santiago
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03-10-2018 09:18
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Driving a gray car in the winter is putting a lot of faith in your fellow drivers on the road.
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03-10-2018 09:19
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It is the year 2048. Colleges are offering courses in selfie angles.
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03-10-2018 09:20
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Eating kale as a snack has several benefits, including no one will ever try to steal your snacks
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03-10-2018 09:22
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I went to ninja school once but the teacher never showed up
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03-10-2018 09:23
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Someone should start a new Match.com, but for socks
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03-10-2018 09:28
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