Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5617 of 6370
The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.
The heart is the center of the body but beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason the heart is not always right.
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09-10-2010 13:43
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I don't understand why they call them men's dress shoes because they don't go with any of my dresses.
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09-10-2010 13:33
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I don't really care about being judged...as long as its not by a jury.
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09-10-2010 13:32
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I've never lost a water balloon fight since I started freezing the water balloons beforehand.
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09-10-2010 13:31
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The best part about "liking" someones status on Facebook is all 97 notifications for the conversation below between you and your friends.
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09-10-2010 13:29
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Email from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: No subject
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09-10-2010 13:27
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I'm still impressed with the dogs ability to play it cool about having eight nipples.
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09-10-2010 13:26
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If the creators of Words with Friends took a peek at my score they would totally accept FUCT as a word.
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09-10-2010 13:25
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If you say "That reminds me of a good story," I automatically think "This story's gonna suck."
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09-10-2010 13:23
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Part of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don't listen to that guy. He's drunk."
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09-10-2010 13:18
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I'm in love with my bed. But my alarm clock won't let us be together.
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09-10-2010 13:17
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I've adopted a highway. Well, technically, I just drive like I own it.
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09-10-2010 13:15
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To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows presidential potential.
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09-10-2010 13:06
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You look as guilty as a pedophile on parole at Chucky Cheese.
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09-10-2010 12:31
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The government knew those planes were coming!!!! why not shoot them
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09-10-2010 11:46 by I.J
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So I saw an old women on a little pink bicycle a few min. ago.....i think she has proven her eligibility for the thug life.
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09-10-2010 10:31 by Brad
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sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
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09-10-2010 09:25
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CNN tried to blame me for 9-11. On that day I turned on the tv and the guy said " if you're just turned on your tv,the world trade center has been destroyed".
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09-10-2010 09:14 by Wild Bill
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you know you are on facebook too much if there are no new status message since the last time you logged in..and you have over 700 friends
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09-10-2010 08:43
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