bego Funny Status Messages
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My doctor e-mailed me asking if I knew my “blod group”. I replied, “typo.”
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08-01-2011 20:57 by BEGO
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Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.
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04-15-2012 22:08 by BEGO
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Before I eat chips, I have to look in the bag for a perfect one
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02-13-2012 22:20 by BEGO
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Your Ex ALWAYS seems to pop back up as soon as you forget about them.
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07-09-2012 22:16 by BEGO
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Having a dog is like having an alarm system that stains your floors.
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08-30-2011 23:10 by BEGO
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Old: Can I buy you a drink? New : I'll give you fourteen dollars for your phone number.
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07-26-2011 22:58 by BEGO
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With all due of respect, I would love to be able to walk up to you and offer you a big, nice cup of shut the f*** up.
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06-11-2010 00:10 by BEGO
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If you have time to update your status after your wedding, you're doing it wrong.
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08-23-2012 22:24 by BEGO
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I hate texting people first. I feel awkward, annoying and unwanted
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04-27-2013 23:16 by BEGO
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How come Mario can smash bricks with his head, but when he touches a turtle he dies
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04-20-2012 21:16 by BEGO
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I've been making the same mistakes in life for so long, I should just call them traditions!
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05-29-2012 21:52 by BEGO
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.
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04-13-2011 21:50 by BEGO
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Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook.
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07-31-2012 22:29 by BEGO
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If you don't use your partner as a hand and foot warmer, you're not in a real relationship
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04-12-2013 21:15 by BEGO
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I don't care if you think I'm crazy. Life is too short to be normal!
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01-12-2012 21:43 by BEGO
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Teach your kids about taxes and social security by taking 30% of their Halloween candy and promising to give part of it back in 70 years.
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10-17-2013 21:13 by BEGO
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If you want a stable relationship.. get a damn horse
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08-09-2010 23:29 by BEGO
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
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09-07-2011 16:35 by BEGO
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Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me.
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07-10-2012 22:01 by BEGO
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At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
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03-07-2011 18:16 by BEGO
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