Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 56 of 6387

   messageicon Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
←Rate | 07-30-2022 01:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welp…??? really? Okay got it, you enjoy a good spanking.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welp, James Welp
←Rate | 04-19-2022 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
←Rate | 08-03-2022 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon U don git da bug if you already da illest, knowahimsayin
←Rate | 06-24-2022 00:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.
←Rate | 05-05-2022 03:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love you, but I’ve chosen Rock & Roll.
←Rate | 05-09-2022 02:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cougar Area: Please stay on trails, travel in small groups and do not allow men under 30 to travel alone.
←Rate | 01-13-2023 04:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a PHD, P – pretty, H – huge, D
←Rate | 04-20-2022 12:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
←Rate | 07-27-2022 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Gurl, if your phone number turned into money, how much would you have?
←Rate | 04-20-2022 12:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a welp once, saw a doctor and got rid of it.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 20:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
←Rate | 08-03-2022 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Martian: “Take us to your leader.” Me: No! You wouldn’t believe it.
←Rate | 06-09-2022 01:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: I have ovaries. Him: Is that why you ovary act?
←Rate | 05-01-2022 22:00 by Lucas Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas prices keep getting higher, but it still tastes the same.
←Rate | 04-14-2022 02:05 by gone_girl99 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.
←Rate | 07-25-2022 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon T.G.I.A. ~ Thank goodness I’m awesome!
←Rate | 01-12-2023 03:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range.
←Rate | 07-27-2022 01:02 Comments (0)  




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