Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5568 of 6370
since twitter doubled the length of tweets, does that mean now I double the name? I'm gonna go post a tweet tweet
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11-08-2017 23:33 by Eddy
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Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their wifi bill.
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11-09-2017 06:56 by Jake
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With Christmas just around the corner, it's important to remember to never trust electronics buying advice from people who have Beats headphones.
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11-09-2017 09:48
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So Donald duck never wore pants, but when he gets out of the shower he puts a towel around his waist. What's up with that?
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11-09-2017 10:55
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No matter what side of the aisle you lean towards or sit on, this tax plan is a soggy turdburger.
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11-09-2017 11:14 by JohnY
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Public Restrooms attract the weirdest people. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet.
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11-09-2017 14:11
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They say that laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing for no reason, you need medicien.
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11-09-2017 16:48 by Jake
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Why is it when I misplace my cell phone it set on silent
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11-09-2017 21:39 by Jake
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I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
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11-10-2017 00:22 by psycho
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Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
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11-10-2017 00:28
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No, I don't want to hold your baby. It looks sticky.
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11-10-2017 00:30 by psycho
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Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
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11-10-2017 00:31
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My only form of communication today is shaking my head.
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11-10-2017 00:33
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Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
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11-10-2017 07:38
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Tom Steyer needs to be taken out and shot, resuscitated, and shot again.
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11-10-2017 07:57
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If the people I come in contact with daily could read my mind I'd get punch in the face alot.
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11-10-2017 23:58 by Jake
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Thank you to all the Veterans enjoy this day of honor.
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11-11-2017 03:26
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I make jokes about being out of shape because it's soooo much easier than going to the gym.
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11-11-2017 07:59
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Yeah, so while you were perfecting your grammar in 12th grade English class, I was doing the teacher. I got the A.
Now Russia is accusing Russia of meddling in Russia's internal affairs, and is demanding Russia register as a foreign agent by Monday.
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11-11-2017 11:57
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