Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If some of your citizens have lost faith in the flag and country, maybe you needs to try to find out why and address their grievances instead of trying to force them to respect the flag and love their country.

   I miss that feeling you'd get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.

   The people of Puerto Rico have unfortunately discovered just how much power mother nature has. Yet, there will be those arrogant humans who'll continue to think that we're solely responsible for climate change.

   The San Francisco Giants visited an orphanage in Mexico last week. "It's really sad to see their faces with no hope" said Juan, age 6.

   Trump invite the Russian national basketball team to the White House. Yeah, nothing's more American than a Russian team, lol

   If it was not for the dumb things I did as a kid. I would not have anything to laugh about today.

   Cutting a hole in the bottom of a table with a saw to steal a pie is way harder than it looks in cartoons.

   Place a "DRY PAINT" sign on a park bench. And watch how many people avoid sitting on the bench.

   To everyone reading this congratulations for surviving the end of the world.

   its amazing how fast my phone is now that I removed the NFL app.

   "Courageous Patriots have fought and died for our great American Flag --- we MUST honor and respect it! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" - Says a serial draft dodger.

   Breaking NFL NEWS Pittsburg's NFLteam is rebranding and will now be known as "The Pittsburgh Kneelers".

   I'm confused. What doe the anthem and flag have to do with NFL players protesting police injustice??

   One of those protesting coons home gets broken into and I bet they call the Po Po!!

   Tom Brady, a white man, supports the NFL player's protest. What are you guys going to do now?

   Yes I took a knee before the game on Sunday. It took three people and a promise of a chocolate chip cookie to get me back on my feet again.

   Pro athletes are just modern day court jesters who are only here to entertain us.

   Anthony Weiner gets Hard time. Pun intended!

   Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.

   Which Knee? the left knee? the right knee?...the weenie?