Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5526 of 6370
Dislikes the "Green Earth" Placards in the hotel bathroom,,,,Hang up your towel, save the earth from extinction.....leave the towel on the floor.....a Panda dies!
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10-12-2010 02:55
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Really hates the "Green Earth" Placards in the hotel bathroom. Hang up your towel, save the planet from extinction.....Leave the Towel on the floor, a Panda dies!
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10-12-2010 02:53
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If I see one of those "Baby on Board" Placards in a parked car on a hot day, Am I morally obligated to break into the car?
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10-12-2010 02:23 by Van
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Good girls bend @ the knees.. Bad girls bend @ the waist..
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10-12-2010 01:34 by Skedee
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
look all he said was is "im hungry" and generously responded "well, I have something for you to eat".
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10-12-2010 01:17
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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
Hey I'm an equal opprotunist. I love blondes, brunettes, redheads, tall ones, short ones, cousins, adopted cousins...
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10-12-2010 01:07
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It was Canadian Thanksgiving this past weekend, and they have much to be thankful for: Bieber, Ice Road Truckers, a sh!t-load of lumber.
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10-12-2010 00:58 by jdpower
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Why is Lou Dobbs hiring illegal aliens when Toni Braxton needs the work?
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10-12-2010 00:56 by jdpower
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The unemployment numbers are twice as bad if you count people who describe themselves as "bloggers."
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10-12-2010 00:53 by jdpower
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After the Vikings dreadful performance and fall to 1-3, the Chilean Miners have decided to stay underground.
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10-12-2010 00:52 by jdpower
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Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.
Given his pass completion percentage tonight, it's clear Favre just isn't handling balls like he used to.
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10-12-2010 00:49 by jdpower
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Why is it that I have to recite the entire alphabet to remember where one letter is?
A bad Walmart greeting just ruins the whole experience.
screw the dog...a kitty is a mans best friend!
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10-12-2010 00:33
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Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A