bego Funny Status Messages

   Facebook's friend suggestion section should be renamed to "People you know, but probably hate."

   im 99% sure you dont like me, and I'm 100% sure I dont care

   The only effective way to end a Facebook conversation is with “LOL”

   The easiest way to keep people from getting involved in your personal problems is to not post them on the internet.

   Remember the Harlem Shake? I think we can all agree that was really stupid.

   A relationship isn't determined by how many pictures you post on Facebook.

   Adele: "I set fire to the rain!" Spongebob: "That's nothing... I make campfires underwater."

   There are only a few people I can say “You're one of the few friends I enjoy being with more in person than on Facebook.

   I sure do feel a hell of alot more attractive at walmart than I do at the gym...

   Everybody secretly hates that couple who plans their wedding on holiday weekends.

   You never fully realize how terrible your toothbrush is until you get a new one.

   Some people dream of success, others are awake & work hard at it.

   When the girl working the counter says “would you like fries with that?” say..”are you calling me fat??” then burst into tears. Free meal.

   Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drink get colder. Music gets louder. Night get longer. Life gets Better.

   relationship without trust is like a car without gas. you can stay in it as long as you want but it won't go anywhere

   Please don't dress like a slut unless you're really a slut...It's very confusing to us guys.

   I said to a fat girl today, "You're a big girl!" She replied, "Tell me something I don't know." I said, "Salad tastes good."

   When I was your age, I had to download porn on a dial up connection.

   Shower = 2% Wash Body | 3% Wash Hair | 95% Contemplate Life.

   Starbucks will provide free college education to thousands of employees. Unfortunately the diplomas will have their names misspelled.