Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5485 of 6371
Stay warm people. It's "R. Kelly" cool out there…and by that I mean "in the teens."
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10-24-2010 19:06
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Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk.
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10-24-2010 19:03
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If drinking destroys your memory, what does drinking do?
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10-24-2010 19:02
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shocked that Facebook is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people.
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10-24-2010 19:00
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types a hundred words a minute, but it's in my own language.
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10-24-2010 18:59
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so excited: my DVD collection of "Hoarders" is almost complete! And on VHS. And on Blu-ray and 8mm film. And LaserDisc. Where's my cat?
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10-24-2010 18:58
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has a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it......a bed. Goodnight.
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10-24-2010 18:55
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I'm not pefect.. but gezzz....Have you seen my competition?
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10-24-2010 18:12
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a Jerkwagon... sorry folks, it's true.......
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10-24-2010 17:59
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the inventer of the "High Five"!!! - (you're welcome)
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10-24-2010 17:57
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"You are probably a 30-year old drunk dude with nothing better to do than play video games" - An incredibly correct kid on Xbox Live
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10-24-2010 17:47
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The Walkman is offically dead. We had some good times in the 80's, and early 90's. You're in a better place now. RIP
in desperate need of a padded room and a Thorazine drip..
May you be as happy as a person in an infomercial today.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesn't that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie?
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10-24-2010 17:38
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just googled "MAMBY PAMBY LAND" and I'll be damned.... It took me HERE!!!
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10-24-2010 17:17
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...roses are red, violets are blue, I'm doing my laundry so I don't smell like you.
single women are like dog turds the older they get the easy they are to pick up
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10-24-2010 16:20
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thinks MTV should change its name to Empty V.
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10-24-2010 15:40
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Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away...like choking.
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10-24-2010 15:39
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