Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5366 of 6371
hates it when the girlfriend asks him to hold her handbag and it doesn't match what I'm wearing.
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12-02-2010 11:42 by miko
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Just had a train run over his feet, probably his own fault for wearing platforms.
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12-02-2010 11:41 by badtouch
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going to order a load of bubble wrap just to see what it's delivered in.
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12-02-2010 11:39 by freemann
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my driving instructor told me, NEVER brake if there's an animal in the road....You should have seen the look on the copper's face as I knocked him off his horse.
doesn't consider them as one night stands, they're auditions.
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12-02-2010 11:33 by freya
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just kicked out of the local paintball fight and the police were called.....Apparently knifing somebody to save ammo is not allowed.
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12-02-2010 11:31 by fredus
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suffering from Dyslexia : Putting the cool in shcool.
So I guess changing my profile picture to Herbert from Family Guy wouldn't be appropriate this week.
What do you call a bra in Russian? Stoppenzefloppin
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12-02-2010 09:58
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Not sure why my bill collector keep trippin and askin for their money...I mean as long as I owe yall money you will alwayz have a job...Hell you should be callin to thank me cuz I'm your job security....
I hate when people tell you their life story against your will. I think it's a form of low level rape.
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12-02-2010 09:39 by Kelevra
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Wait, Miley Cyrus has been 18 for only a week, and there's already naked pictures of her? Somebody might be beating Lindsay to porn.
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12-02-2010 08:23
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Honk, if you want to see my finger!
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12-02-2010 07:54 by one
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World Cup in Qatar? Does that mean 2024 Summer Olympics in Baghdad or Kabul?
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12-02-2010 07:29 by Bill
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New TSA slogan: "It's not a grope....It's a freedom pat"
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12-02-2010 07:22 by Grifter
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trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened.
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12-02-2010 07:16
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I broke wind in front of an elderly customer today. She didn't think it was funny as I did.
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12-02-2010 07:15 by chel
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To be TOGETHER, you need TO-GET-HER
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12-02-2010 07:13
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Why don't you unbutton that blouse and let me get to know ya?
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12-02-2010 07:12 by chel
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I'd also like to learn how to spell GIANT one of these days
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12-02-2010 06:26
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