Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5365 of 6371
This is a 1:1 scale model of a Facebook update.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 21:58
Comments (0)
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look without the beer googles.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 20:09
Comments (0)
Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve?
←Rate |
12-02-2010 18:28
Comments (1)
Facebook: We're all here because we're not all there
←Rate |
12-02-2010 18:18
Comments (0)
When I was a little kid I use to wait for Mrs. Butterworth to talk to me but she never did......I HATE HER
If at 1st you don't succeed, being a magician that saws people in half might not be for you.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 15:42
Comments (0)
There's a reason stressed is "desserts" spelled backwards!
←Rate |
12-02-2010 15:26
Comments (0)
checking out your facebook albums hoping to see some bikini photos of your girlfriend.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 15:21
Comments (0)
All I want for Christmas is for my wife to swallow my egg nog one time!
←Rate |
12-02-2010 15:07
Comments (18)
WHY IS A CHRISTMAS TREE BETTER THAN A MAN ? IT STAYS UP FOR 30 DAYS & NIGHTS, HAS CUTE BALLS & LOOKS GOOD WITH THE LIGHTS ON
←Rate |
12-02-2010 15:05
Comments (1)
Dear Mr. guy that honks his horn right when the light turns green, it's not gonna work so well when I rip it out and shove it down your throat!
←Rate |
12-02-2010 14:30
Comments (3)
Its so cold, Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick
←Rate |
12-02-2010 13:46
Comments (0)
SNOWBALL FIGHT !!!"o´¯`❄.¸(░) `O.¸¸.¸. o´¯`❄. ¸(░) `O. ❄。 ¨¯`*✲ ´*。. ❄¨¯`*✲。 ❄*´*。 ✲O. ¸¸. ¸. o´¯`o. ¸ (░) `O. ¸¸.✲. ¸. o´¯`¸. o´¯`❄¸ (░) `O. ¸¸. ¸.✲´¯`o. ¸ (░) `O. ¸❄。 `O.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 13:32
Comments (0)
thanks Obama......my advent calendar has pictures of Repo-Men, foreclosure notices and disconnect notices.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 13:10
Comments (4)
nicotine patches are great !! stick one of each eye and you cant find your cigarettes..
←Rate |
12-02-2010 12:05
Comments (0)
Today's secret word is Bieber. Everytime someone says it, punch them with authority.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 11:58
Comments (0)
The X Factor is on tonight! I can't wait..... To go out to the pub
←Rate |
12-02-2010 11:52 by uncle bob
Comments (0)
79% of accidents happen in the home. Finally, good news for the homeless.
←Rate |
12-02-2010 11:51 by mr magoo
Comments (0)
as confused as Ray Charles with a Where's Waldo book
←Rate |
12-02-2010 11:51 by hymie
Comments (0)
Don't add foreign words to your text messages in an attempt to sound intelligent. It will backfire and make you look like a pillock. Comprende?