BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Teacher: why are you late? Me: why does it matter? you still get paid, right?

   In America, we will eventually have a President that used to play Pokemon as a child. Scary.

   The first person you think of in the morning or last person you think of in the night is either the cause of your happiness or your pain

   Cool things always happen when I don't have a camera.

   Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.

   Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person

   Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.

   it considered drinking alone if you're on Facebook?

   Wishing the amazing Olympic athletes from around the world the best of luck in Sochi (finding drinking water and toilets).

   rumors ? oh wellll ; at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.

   “I'm Single ” doesn't mean ” I'm looking for somebody “, just thought you should know.

   Some women get excited about nothing, and then marry him.

   Coffee is nature's way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”

   If you're 13 & under & have a Facebook, that's cheating. You gotta start from Myspace —-> Twitter —-> Facebook. Just like everybody else.

   If you find something wrong with EVERY person you meet maybe its because you haven't been introduced to yourself!

   There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!

   Don't EVER fight for someone who wouldn't damn fight for you.

   Break up is like a broken mirror. It's better to leave it broken than hurting yourself trying to fix it.

   I'll let my dog ride with me to the store just to wait in the car for the sole purpose of him not assuming I'm doing something fun every time I leave the house.

   My Mothers MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it.