Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 53 of 6389
LGBTQ: Liquor, Guns, Bacon, Tits and Quicksand.
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05-12-2022 01:35
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Was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
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05-21-2022 03:38
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Dog: You know that feeling you get when you do something wrong and you feel so bad about it that you can’t think of anything else for the rest of the day? Cat: no.
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04-24-2022 23:20
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We never had a baby formula shortage until men started getting pregnant.
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05-16-2022 05:44
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I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.
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07-27-2022 01:02
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The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
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08-05-2022 02:15
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Hey, how long has it been? Not long enough.
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07-07-2022 23:38
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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08-04-2022 01:37
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Don’t take your kids to Disney World this summer, they don’t deserve your money or your support.
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05-15-2022 02:47
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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07-31-2022 23:57
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My tongue itches, can I scratch it on your baby maker?
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06-27-2022 03:05
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Got up at 5am, 8 mile run completed, made a vegetable smoothie for breakfast…. Can’t remember the rest of the dream.
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08-03-2022 01:25
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A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
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08-04-2022 01:36
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I see…. and is the “Orange Man” in the room with us right now?
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05-26-2022 06:04
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Biden: “Your hair smells good.” Chewbacca: wtf???
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06-07-2022 02:06
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If I went to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work.
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01-13-2023 04:11
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A big shout-out to ATM fees, for making me buy my own money.
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01-12-2023 03:11
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Stop calling yourself hot; the only thing you turn on is the microwave.
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01-13-2023 04:13
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Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
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07-27-2022 01:04
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Girls think 50 times before buying lipstick but always choose the wrong guy.