bego Funny Status Messages
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My room is about as organized as the Walmart $5 DVD bin.
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12-06-2012 20:53 by BEGO
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Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes.
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03-15-2013 21:18 by BEGO
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WORD OF ADVICE: The key to a lasting relationship is keeping the fights clean and the sex dirty.
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04-19-2012 21:02 by BEGO
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99% of girls are hot. The other 1% go to my school.
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05-13-2012 22:03 by BEGO
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Women are like horoscopes, they always tell you what to do and they're usually wrong.
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05-29-2012 21:47 by BEGO
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Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison.
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07-10-2012 22:00 by BEGO
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The words that make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your life = "I need to talk to you."
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09-18-2012 20:46 by BEGO
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My 20 year high school reunion is in a few months. I need help with making up some amazing crap that I've done.
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04-22-2011 11:06 by BEGO
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We can't help but to start liking the girls that become our good friends. Too hard to find girls that just like to have fun these days.
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02-07-2014 21:52 by BEGO
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Send message without subject? Yes, Gmail. f$ck off.
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07-09-2012 22:14 by BEGO
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There are always two ways to look at things. I prefer to look at them my way.
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04-27-2012 21:35 by BEGO
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I can't think of one nice thing to say about you....a million maybe, but not just one.
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05-27-2012 22:23 by BEGO
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Carry yourself like a queen and you will attract a king! Carry yourself like a hoe, and see how far you will go.
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05-24-2012 20:57 by BEGO
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Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
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09-19-2012 21:14 by BEGO
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Tip on getting a raise at work: Every day eat a cup-a-noodle soup for lunch and make sure to mention how you need to save half, because you know you will be hungry tomorrow.
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06-25-2014 21:48 by BEGO
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If two past lovers remain friends, it`s either someone is still in love, or someone is still hoping for a second chance.
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07-31-2011 22:42 by BEGO
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Girl on Facebook statues : I want a guy that actually give a s**t about me. Guy on comment : I thought about you while I was taking s**t .. does that count ?
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06-06-2011 21:59 by BEGO
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Friend: Do you want to go to a strip club? Me: Maybe. Do they have Wi-Fi?
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09-22-2015 22:25 by BEGO
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Yesterday I went to see a shrink about my Facebook addiction, everything was going smoothly and I was on the road to recovery until he asked me, What's on your mind? Damn it
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02-07-2014 23:15 by BEGO
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The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience.
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08-16-2012 22:04 by BEGO
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