Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5152 of 6371
I wonder if butterflies get humans in their stomach when they're anxious?
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02-17-2011 21:03 by hovo
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Once you lick frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin
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02-17-2011 21:03 by hovo
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Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....
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02-17-2011 21:02 by hovo
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There are places in the heart you can only find when the right person comes along.
Don't make the same typo I did in a text to my girlfriend: "Having a great time wish you were her."
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02-17-2011 21:01 by hovo
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Facebook needs to add a maybe button for friend requests, some people deserve to wait for a decision to be made.
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02-17-2011 21:00 by hovo
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I really want to punch "The Situation" in his vagina
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02-17-2011 21:00 by hovo
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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, amen,"
Dear yellow traffic light, Challenge accepted. Sincerely, a driver running late.
The part of "no" that I don't understand is the part where I don't get what I want.
Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?
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02-17-2011 20:43 by SeanyB
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just stubbed my toe so hard that I called my ex gf that I haven't spoken to in 3 years and broke up with her again.
Remember: warning labels exist because someone failed at using the product correctly. scary when you think about windshield sun covers and the warning "do not drive while intact"
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02-17-2011 20:37 by ptv
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Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.
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02-17-2011 20:19
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People who pimp out pick up trucks , is like dressing your little boy up in girls clothes.
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02-17-2011 20:17
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To be honest, I'm just fishing for compliments tonight.
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02-17-2011 20:10
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Since wishing for more wishes isn't allowed, why not wish for more magic lamps?
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02-17-2011 19:25
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Please tell your booty to stop calling me! Its over, it needs to accept it and move on.
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02-17-2011 19:24
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I think for just about everybody, at some point in your life, there's one teacher you had a secret crush on. For me, it's my wife's aerobic teacher.
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02-17-2011 18:51
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Today at the NASCAR race they drove around in an oval for about 4 hrs! Next week, same thing.
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02-17-2011 18:48
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