Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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America is full...GO HOME! 
says, When Ronald Reagen was president we had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now it's ONLY Obama with NO Hope and NO Cash.....!!!!
"9/11 organiser dead". Nonsense, I've never seen George W. Bush looking healthier.
Hail Mary, full of grace, put Notre Dame in second place.
more then a lil surprise Mark Ingram won the Heisman Trophy, I thought Obama had it in da bag?!?!?
So you hate me? Is this the part where I start crying? Bi*ch please! Take a number and sit your a$$ down with the rest of them bi*ches waiting for me to give a f*ck.
this is the promised land." Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and bankrupted the promised land.
Did, we REALLY need a Karate Kid remake????
You know what really gets on my nerves? Skin.
Okay, so celebrities usually die in 3's... So far, Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman... who's next?
gathering rocks to throw at the English Football Team!!!
facebook went down...so I had sex, ate a sandwich and VIOLA! its back! Luck of the Irish!
9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u) = ? (see comment for answer)
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
thinks Sesame Street should keep Katy Perry and ban Elmo.
Me: Did it hurt? Girl says: What, when I fell out of heaven? Me: No, when you got kicked out of hell for being too hotttt!!
I was born a pessimist. My blood type is B negative.
welcome to britain, where men are men and women are slags!
wants to do something different today so is thinking about sitting on the TV to watch the sofa!!!
Writing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Any. Stronger. It. Makes. It. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma. 