Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Everyone complains about octomom but everyone loves the duggars who popped out 20+ of those things. Shows you americans don't understand how much octo means

   "the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally makeup the source.” – George Washington

   God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.

   My probation officer didn't check on me tonight.....THUG LIFE

   Guns don't kill people , My cousin does!!!

   Ophrah needs to hang with Jennifer Hudson

   Bert and Ernie...it's ok to be gay, it's 2011. Just get married and get it over with.

   ♫ “The best part of waking up…. is not dying in your sleep!” ♫

   Hillary doesn't suck, it's all those people who support her that suck!

   For the record, we voted Trump in, because we're sick and tired of being poor, right? That's why I voted for him.

   So Donald duck never wore pants, but when he gets out of the shower he puts a towel around his waist. What's up with that?

   Whîte people. Please stop saying "like a boss" and "what up dog". That shî† went out with the Clinton administration.

   Just had coffee so black that it looted the silverware from the table.

   I wonder if crematoriums give discount to people who die in a fire?

   Mr. Felipe Calderon, 73% of Americans have a message for you: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

   didn't waste his time with Windows and bought a Mac instead. My name's Randee and common sense was my idea

   How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Ceasars *drops mic, Harlem shakes off stage*

   "This wall thing.... It's like a manhood thing with him.... as if manhood can be associated with him." Nancy Pelosi

   Time to remove the little project black boy out of office ASAP !

   What do you call a black guy in a three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise?