Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5030 of 6370
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
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03-28-2011 14:57
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Love is standing on wet cement. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never let go without leaving your footprints.
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03-28-2011 14:54
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IRONY,too much Alcohol on a night out causes the loss of the ability to remember, think & reason....
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03-28-2011 14:50
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Alcohol is an Anti-inflammatory & raises good HDL Cholesterol, which helps ward off Dementia....
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03-28-2011 14:50
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Wonders what the 1st person that ate a pineapple was thinking... Hmmm that's a funny looking thing, I believe I'll eat it.
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03-28-2011 14:49
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One of the best feelings in the world is waking up to your room feeling like it's Alaska and you're under 8 layers of blanket.
Alcohol is an Anti-inflammatory & raises good HDL Cholesterol, which helps ward off Dementia.
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03-28-2011 14:37
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Wonder how long i'll have to stay in Bed before the Bed Bugs eat away at all my fat, saves me going on a diet
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03-28-2011 14:35
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Finals kicked my ass last semester, but this time around, I'm feeling like I've been well trained by the Mr. Miyagi of Finals---just been waxing them on and off, straight up kicking their asses!
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03-28-2011 14:16 by Afrique18
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Sorry, I can't follow you on twitter...I'm a leader!
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03-28-2011 14:11 by Afrique18
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MONEY can't buy life, but can give you a lot of fake friends. Beware!
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03-28-2011 14:07 by Afrique18
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Sorry friends......But from the advice of my lawyer, it's in my best interest not to try out Facebook's new 'Questions' feature tonight : (
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03-28-2011 14:02 by Bill
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Since "nobody's perfect," I'm gonna go ahead and take the initiative...
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03-28-2011 13:59 by Afrique18
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Girls 'round here have kissed so many frogs, they're starting to look like tadpoles. Attractive?! Probably to a water snake or a dragonfly!
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03-28-2011 13:56 by Afrique18
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Mother nature is bipolar... I've been trying to get her into therapy but she just threatens me with a hormonal disorder so...
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03-28-2011 13:14 by yeap
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Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs
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03-28-2011 13:02
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begining to suspect that my friend's tell me they don't have any single friends for me to meet so that if they in fact become single again they will have dibs.
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03-28-2011 12:11
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Money=Problems So Problems=Time Time=money=Girls therefor Girls=problems
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03-28-2011 11:58 by ken
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What is the most spontaneous thing you plan on doing?
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03-28-2011 10:08 by JimmyCos
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sometimes does the Jedi Wave at automatic doors, just to feel better.
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03-28-2011 09:47
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