Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5015 of 6371
It takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.
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04-03-2011 17:46 by charlied1
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Need relationship advice? Use Baby Philosophy: If it stinks, change it.
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04-03-2011 17:30
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I know a lot of people that remind me of clouds. Mainly because as soon as they disappear my day is brighter.
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04-03-2011 17:23
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need one more Red Light so I can get through this level of Angry Birds.
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04-03-2011 17:21
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Thanks Rebecca Black, because of you I don't know if I should sit in the front seat or the back seat.
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04-03-2011 15:55
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dont be a woman that needs a man, be a woman a man needs
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04-03-2011 15:29
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They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
I love the wind.. It's the only time I ever get blown
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04-03-2011 13:43
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Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.
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04-03-2011 13:08 by Aaron
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Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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04-03-2011 12:55
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It would blow everyone's mind if one day Charlie Sheen just pulled off a mask & it was San Kinison.
I'm changing my relationship status to 'It's complicated' ...I can never decide which hand to use
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04-03-2011 12:54
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soo upset that I mixed up my voodoo dolls. If you feel any sharp, stabbing pains, please call me and describe the location. Thanks
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04-03-2011 12:53 by Destiny
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Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
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04-03-2011 12:52 by Destiny
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I once dated a girl with one boob bigger than the other...She entered a wet t-shirt competition and won first and third prize
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04-03-2011 12:50
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dear GPS, please add an, "avoid ghetto" option.
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04-03-2011 12:48 by Destiny
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if my start phone was so smart it wouldnt get freaked out and start shaking whenever it got a text message.
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04-03-2011 12:48 by Destiny
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i wonder what the first person who milked a cows original intentions were.
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04-03-2011 12:47
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I'd mind my own business if yours wasn't so damn interesting
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04-03-2011 12:46 by Destiny
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God dont need a Dam, he can walk on water.
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04-03-2011 12:46 by Destiny
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