bego Funny Status Messages

   Strangers think I’m quiet, my friends think I’m outgoing, my best friends know I’m insane.

   I don't run often, but when I do, it's with arms and fingers completely straight, super-cool gymnast style.

   Without Facebook, I probably wouldn't have wished you a happy birthday. ツ

   "No comment" usually translates into "Oh, if you only knew."

   its better to waste years waiting for the right person to come than to waste years regretting that you didnt

   Hi, may I help you?" "No I just waited 15 mins in the line to say Hi.

   Gay marriage is legal in 6 states. Having sex with a horse is legal in 23. Good going, America.

   Imagine this: you’re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers “Bless you” and hangs up.

   to all you women out there...slow down on the make up...nuttin worse than falling asleep next to a"beauty" and waking up next to a "beast"

   Pretending to read your birthday card after the money has fallen out...

   Why isn’t the movie ‘What Women Want’ just 90 minutes of Ryan Gosling doing an ab workout on a pile of Nutella and money?

   Sunday = The day of the week to sit around and absolutely do nothing all day and no one judges you for it.

   On facebook* Hot person status: Just ate lunch. *86 likes 30 comments* .. Average persons status: *today is my birthday! *mom likes this

   When I die, I'd like someone to keep updating my Facebook status just to freak people out… “hey, who knew they had wi-fi up here?”

   Wake up!” Me: (~_~) (-_-) (o_-) (-_o) (>_<) (o_O) (o_o)

   I tried grilling a chicken at lunchtime. "Right, I'll ask you one more time. Why did you cross the road?"

   If I reply to your one word text... just know you're special.

   Never sure if a girl is hot or just that her massive sunglasses are blocking her face.

   Facebook should change the "Friends" section to "Friends & People I've Only Made Eye Contact With".

   Some people would be in such good shape if they ran as much as their mouth does