YODA Funny Status Messages

   Was thinking of buy my boyfriend a bunkbed so I could be on top more often

   More often than not sadly... The three phases of love: 1.XOXO 2. XXX 3.EX

   the secret to my success was knowing who to blame for my failures...

   Significant others are like linoleum floors... Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

   I'm not mooing you.. I'm turning the other cheek

   If a room is spinning, it doesn't mean the world revolves around you... you may have just had too much to drink....

   I don't have issues... I have an entire subcription... jest sayin

   In other news… Elon musk is now going to also buy McDonald’s so he can fix all the ice cream machines

   I hate it when TV shows say "Adult Content" but then don't show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up after the kids... jest sayin

   This recipe calls for leftover bacon… Might as well be asking for dragon tenderloin or Bigfoot steaks… jest sayin

   After 40 years of marriage will gay guys call their spouse the old balls and chain?

   Shout out to the person Who is the first to say they’re going home and breaks the seal for the rest of the guests to be like “Gyess we will head out also” Jest sayin