SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon plot twist........ it WAS my first rodeo
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're missing a necklace just remember Dave Navarro probably has it.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to slap the Pharmacist that put my pet's prescription in the same amber vial as mine, but first...I need to piss on this mailbox.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:53 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Lebron misunderstood coach when he was told to share the ball more...
←Rate | 06-13-2015 07:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opened the bathroom cupboard and a bunch of my wifes feminine hygiene products fell out on me. it was a Tampede...
←Rate | 04-21-2015 08:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon my neighbor stopped me while I was mowing to brag about his new mower, I said thats nice and all but I still have a bigger deck. ..
←Rate | 04-19-2015 23:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Curb alert! Sabra hummus and Blue Bell ice cream varieties
←Rate | 04-09-2015 13:50 by Sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon the wife just woke me up and told me to quit snoring, I said I never snore I just dream I'm a motorcycle. ..
←Rate | 03-19-2015 23:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The black really brings out your eyes- Ray Rice pick up line...
←Rate | 02-18-2015 07:51 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wife just asked me what necrophilia was...I quickly replied "your sex life."
←Rate | 02-18-2015 07:50 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a person out there for everyone, but for some women that person is 6 cats....
←Rate | 02-18-2015 07:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was growing up mom would wake up early to cut my crust off my sandwhich before I went to school, crust was my favorite part- she really hated me....
←Rate | 02-18-2015 07:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
←Rate | 02-18-2015 07:43 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
←Rate | 01-22-2015 11:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Didn't even finish microwaving this Lean Cuisine before the suicide prevention hotline called me..
←Rate | 01-22-2015 11:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I said make yourself at home I meant go wash my dishes.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 11:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like a doctor to tell me I'm not getting enough beer in my diet.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 11:15 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorce---When being wrong every day for being alive isn't working for you.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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