totalpackage Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I have a very busy Sunday planned today......Watching football and Nascar while converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. ツ
←Rate | 11-13-2011 07:53 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the "McRib" which is made from "McAss" and tastes like "McPuke" is so popular, is beyond my comprehension!
←Rate | 11-11-2011 17:26 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hussein☑ Bin Laden ☑ Ghadafi ☑ Jerry Sandusky ☐.....I'm sending "SEAL Team 6" over to Sandusky's at Penn State to take care of this matter!
←Rate | 11-10-2011 19:08 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm still wondering why people were so uptight about that meteor that nearly hit earth a few days ago....It seems to me we are perfectly capable of destroying ourselves without any assistance from an asteroid!
←Rate | 11-10-2011 17:08 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steelers menu tonight: 4 & 20 black (dirty) birds baked in a pie!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 12:22 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Andy Rooney vapor locked today at age 92. I don't want to say he was old, but I heard his Social Security number was "1".....RIP you miserable old fart!
←Rate | 11-05-2011 15:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my girlfriend misunderstood me when I asked if we could go to "the outback" tonight!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 15:23 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have restless leg syndrome and may not be able to stop myself from kicking your ass!
←Rate | 11-02-2011 20:28 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm proud to come from a family of work-a-holics.....Everytime someone mentions work, we all get drunk! ツ
←Rate | 11-02-2011 20:20 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon With Lindsay Lohan doubling duty between a Playboy shoot and working at the L.A. county morgue, it should be interesting to see what she wears for Halloween...I haven't spotted any zombie, prison striped, part time lesbian, boozing, kleptomaniac, playboy
←Rate | 10-29-2011 17:25 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you live anywhere near the "Occupy Wall Street" protest, I suggest you NOT dress up as a Port-O-Potty this Halloween!
←Rate | 10-28-2011 22:32 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon <----plans on spending a quiet evening indoors with the only woman who never let's me down!.....Stella Artois! ツ
←Rate | 10-26-2011 18:25 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon just spent the rest of my Halloween money on Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale.....I hope the trick-or-treaters are happy with some cough drops and a few beef bouillon cubes this year.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 18:29 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems kinda strange we couldn't get even one post mortem pic of Bin Laden but nobody seems to mind Gadhafi showing up at back yard picnics and local supermarket meat freezers like he's starring in the sequel to "A Weekend At Bernie's".....Go figure!
←Rate | 10-22-2011 02:31 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bye Bye Moammar!.....Hussein☑ Bin Laden ☑ Ghadafi ☑ Nancy Pelosi ☐ ツ
←Rate | 10-20-2011 14:09 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder why these "Occupy Wall St." people can't find a more exciting place to protest like Hooters or Bourbon Street?!...By the looks of most of them, they would be lucky if they could occupy Sesame Street!
←Rate | 10-17-2011 01:53 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pharmacist mixed up my Valiuum prescription with Viaagra...It didn't help my anxiety much, but it gave me a great place to hang my hat! ツ
←Rate | 10-13-2011 09:22 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon riding that train high on cocaine!
←Rate | 10-13-2011 09:13 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the show "Toddlers & Tiaras" was named that way because "Strippers in training" and "Mothers with self esteem issues" just wasn't as catchy.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:43 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save energy....The last time I tried it I ran over a guy on a moped!
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:35 by totalpackage Comments (0)  




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