eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   You smell like you passed through the system of a 90 year old!

   I have a drinking problem and don't intend on doing a thing about it!

   I am that little chocolate you find when you least expect it and need it the most!!

   I miss being able to hang up rotary phone on people!

   Yesterday it was fish, shrimp, and crabs. Tonight I'm just fishing for compliments.

   Facebook has allowed me to bring my "He's a distraction to the rest of the class" from grade school to a global scale!!

   If there's one thing I've learned since becoming a father it's just because the kids say they don't want any bacon, make 2 extra slices, because they are lying.

   Made it through Irene's rain band. They could use a new lead singer and a drummer.

   After only one date, I knew her "emotional closet" was a walk in!

   I just cut a coupon for Adderall off the back of a box of Lucky Charms.

   My son asked me why Piggly Wiggly sells bacon. He said, "Isn't that like them selling their soul?"

   OUCH!!! I just got bit by a Horse Fly with an over bite!!

   Looks like Casey Anthony will be available to baby sit my children tonight afterwards!!

   I line Dance just so I can kick people and get away with it

   Got in a fight. You should see the other guys....they are perfectly fine.

   For Sale: New Nunchucks. Will consider trading for a bag of ice and a new set of marbles.

   my son just said he just blew the ship up..."Daddy that is S..H..I..P.. not the bad word Ok"?

   I dream in High Definition.

   I am currently putting together a workout video called "8 Year Abs"

   I gave my deaf friend an I-Pod for X-mas hoping he would re-gift it back to me.