aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Bananas don't go back once they go black either.
←Rate | 01-17-2014 22:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 19:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spilling a full drink you just paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 17:26 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were the President, I'd create the Adorable Care Act, where every American would get a free puppy.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 20:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
←Rate | 10-27-2013 12:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life didn't hand me lemons. I picked them myself.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 18:52 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try speed bumps, it's a rental.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 20:42 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're hiking. Smokey the Bear appears smoking a cigar. He nods, flicks it into a pile of leaves and smiles, "No one will ever believe you."
←Rate | 10-14-2013 20:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the DMV. When they called my number, felt like I was on the Price Is Right TV show. XD
←Rate | 10-12-2013 00:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget everything you know about amnesia.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 18:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll watch Groundhog Day every time it comes on. Same goes for Groundhog Day. Also, whenever Groundhog Day comes on, I'll watch it.
←Rate | 10-06-2013 13:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon dude, where's my government
←Rate | 10-05-2013 20:59 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
←Rate | 09-27-2013 18:59 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Well we've been looking for this multiple homicide suspect for 5 minutes. Time to close the investigation forever." - cops in GTA 5
←Rate | 09-24-2013 21:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon *takes down dreamcatcher & empties it into the trash*
←Rate | 09-24-2013 21:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home.
←Rate | 09-19-2013 22:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon [tears open envelope] It's here! It's *really* here! The expressed written consent of the National Football League!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 19:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wow! A chocolate river!" exclaims Augustus. Wonka adjusts his hat. "Actually, that's an open sewer line, but feel free to keep drinking…"
←Rate | 09-17-2013 19:00 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hug people I hate so I know how big I need to dig the hole in my backyard.
←Rate | 09-17-2013 18:57 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 20:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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