BEGO Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My girlfriend just said that I put sports before our relationship. Bull$hit. It’s our sixth season together.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 22:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 22:31 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear I am tired of Hearing SOME Females be like: I am mixed with Black, Dominican, White and Indian. Shut your Ass up you are sounding like a damn science experiment to me.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 22:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
←Rate | 04-09-2014 20:50 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was in that Malaysian airplane my wife would find it in 10 minutes..
←Rate | 04-06-2014 22:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the girl working the counter says “would you like fries with that?” say..”are you calling me fat??” then burst into tears. Free meal.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:47 by BEGO Comments (2)  


   messageicon I don’t have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:47 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon I think I just saw the Mucinex family walking out of Wal-Mart.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon It scares me that some of you have children.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my age, Friends with Insurance Benefits sounds just as appealing.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:44 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
←Rate | 03-31-2014 21:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drink get colder. Music gets louder. Night get longer. Life gets Better.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 22:17 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon "She's so ugly, how does she have a boyfriend?"... Maybe she has an amazing personality and her boyfriend isn't a judgemental c%nt like you.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 21:18 by BEGO Comments (2)  


   messageicon People glorify being single because you can sleep with anyone you want. In reality you can only sleep with the people who want to sleep with you. That’s a very different number.
←Rate | 03-29-2014 23:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1920: “May I have this dance?” 1950: “Want to go to the drive-in?” 1980: “What’s your sign?” 2014: “Here’s a picture of my dong.”
←Rate | 03-29-2014 23:24 by BEGO Comments (2)  


   messageicon Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
←Rate | 03-29-2014 23:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to be your prince charming when you'd rather just fool around with all 12 of the dwarves.
←Rate | 03-25-2014 22:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if you suspect your man of cheating and you know where the "mystery" woman lives... drive by the house and if the WiFi connects you have your answer.
←Rate | 03-24-2014 22:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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