SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've heard that Apple had to get rid of their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name
←Rate | 05-12-2011 13:41 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Easiest way out of Jury duty, after the States Attorney tells you he/she has no more questions, thank them for their time, fist pump them and say “ May the force be with you”
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon At first I was excited that the Bulls game got pushed back, but when I found out Oprah's s\Secrets was not a new line of plus size lingerie I have to admit I was disappointed
←Rate | 05-18-2011 17:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say the end of the world is very near, So what if Saturday is the end of the world? If I get sent straight to hell its going to take me at least a week to realize that I'm not still at work.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 16:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear neighbors, If you hear a lot of screaming and cussing please do not worry and/or call the police. I am cleaning out my garage and have Arachnophobia
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brett Favre & Congressman Weiner gave new meaning to the term "Junk Mail".
←Rate | 06-08-2011 11:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon so this lady is buying a birthday card and diet suppliments, cant help but wonder if these items are not related or if she's just a b!tch
←Rate | 06-14-2011 16:11 by Sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon a new postage stamp shaped like a vAjAy was introduced yesterday but it's not selling well cos only 5% of men know how 2 lick it properly!
←Rate | 06-17-2011 17:53 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those people who think that a woman's place is in the kitchen obviously never had my ex-wife's cooking....
←Rate | 06-27-2011 08:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon After I won my divorce trial I FEDexd my ex-wife's attorney a consolation prize of a broom and a witches hat.
←Rate | 07-01-2011 10:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can a slim chance and a fat chance mean the same thing
←Rate | 07-09-2011 09:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon every time I see a mattress strapped to the top of a car I think its a prosty making house calls.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:06 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who can't find happiness aren't in a liquor store
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon the moment when your channel surfing and power rangers pop up and you think to yourself wow I used to watch a group of teenagers in tights beat up people in monster outfits
←Rate | 07-12-2011 07:57 by Sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people constantly complain about Monday's, Tuesday's and Wednesday's being the worst part of the week, I have discovered that with the right mix of Jack Daniels and sleeping pills those days no longer have to happen.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 11:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get hit on by so many cougar, the discovery channel & Antiques road show offered me my own show called Vintage Gash Hunter
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon So...... Stub Hub isn't a dating site for quadriplegics?
←Rate | 08-11-2011 09:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Few things broadcast one's idiocy like driving a car that has wheels that look like they cost more than the car itself
←Rate | 08-11-2011 09:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", I'd like to hear someone in the family say, "This isn't quite what I had in mind
←Rate | 08-11-2011 10:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to watch the True Blood finale now. After watching the Tea Party debate, I need to experience something closer to reality
←Rate | 09-14-2011 16:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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