g0re Funny Status Messages

   I liked your post...until this happened :) xD lol <3 <33!

   There's always that one annoying kid that says "Present!" instead of"Here!"

   If you suspect someone has the power to read minds, then just play Never Gonna Give You Up in your head so they will get Rick-Rolled trying to read your thoughts.

   Telling a child to sit in the corner and think about what they've done is not a punishment: all it does is give the child time to come up with a better plan for next time.

   They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.

   We all have that one class where when you're absent, you feel like you've missed a year when you come back.

   When someone can't pick you up, it's easier to call them weak than to admit that you're fat.

   The brain is the most important organ you have...According to the brain.

   Anything that comes in a spray can doubles as a bug killer.

   It's time for Dora to discover Google Maps.

   It seems like medicine manufacturers have never tasted freaking fruit before. Funny, I don't remember cherries tasting like an a$$.

   In elementary, there always seemed to be that one kid who had to deepthroat the water fountain when getting a drink.

   Haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potate.

   It's the little things that make life so beautiful, like when a baby steps on a cat and they both go apesh!t

   ou know you're lazy when you don't have any clean bowls so you eat cereal off a plate.

   Bus drivers inwardly laugh at you when they drop you off in the rain.

   Guys: When you're watching your friend play a single player game, you secretly hope they die.

   Cookie Monster has probably kidnapped a ton of girl scouts.

   Checking In' on Facebook Places is really just another way of people showing other people how much better their day is/was than yours.

   Moving to Google+ after a facebook change is like moving to Canada after an election. Noone actually goes through with it, and even if you did, you wouldn't have any friends when you get there.