Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a constipated muppet trying to list off active ingredients in Children’s Tylenol.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 10:03 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon TO THE GOVERNMENT AGENTS WHO'VE BEEN ILLEGALLY MONITORING OUR TEXTS, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS: Was that message I sent Ashley too forward?
←Rate | 06-07-2013 18:10 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I want you to come inside me." - Buildings
←Rate | 06-07-2013 20:45 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now... but I'm still very proud...
←Rate | 06-09-2013 22:38 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We find the defendant....right there, in the chair next to the defense attorney" "Good work jury, now its your turn to hide"
←Rate | 06-10-2013 15:38 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laziness walks in my family
←Rate | 06-10-2013 22:50 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cellphones have two brightness settings: “dim” and “the messiah is back”
←Rate | 06-11-2013 20:49 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, so are we dating yet??!
←Rate | 06-11-2013 22:17 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... So that I can find a better girlfriend!
←Rate | 06-12-2013 09:10 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Commercial idea : shaq in front of a mirror singing "love shaq, baby love shaq" into a hairbrush
←Rate | 06-13-2013 00:48 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon a police uniform is just another gang color
←Rate | 06-13-2013 14:24 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kenya please explain why you called Chad a Niger? You Congo around using words like that or all of a Sudan you Ghana have no place Togo
←Rate | 06-14-2013 11:05 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lighting a cigarette immediately after buckling your seat belt is like saying "I wanna die soonish, just not today."
←Rate | 06-14-2013 20:57 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon very sad that fathers only get one day but sharks get a whole week
←Rate | 06-16-2013 13:13 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked me "Where were you between four and six?" I replied, "Kindergarden"
←Rate | 06-17-2013 14:34 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm giving up dryer sheets for lint
←Rate | 06-17-2013 23:03 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bailiff! Why is this evidence covered in chocolate pudding?" Because, your honor, *smiles* The proof is in the- "Get out of my courtroom."
←Rate | 06-18-2013 13:48 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember: 'Stressed' is just 'Desserts' spelt backwards.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 15:42 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NSA says it stopped a Wall Street attack, just not the ginormous ones the bankers perpetrated.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 19:47 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on day 4 of no carbs and I see the difference already. 4 days ago I was fat & happy but now I'm fat and I wish I was dead
←Rate | 06-19-2013 20:33 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  




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