totalpackage Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon was glad to see it was "peter tweeter" Anthony Weiner's last day in office but I was a bit dismayed when I heard that Gary Busey was slotted as his interim replacement.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 00:17 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so glad they brought back the McRib for the Holidays...I always wanted an angioplasty for Christmas! ツ
←Rate | 12-20-2012 00:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like St. Patrick's day can't come soon enough this year for the Irish!
←Rate | 01-08-2013 00:10 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still can't believe I was cited for running through the park naked when it was clearly evident I had black socks on! ツ
←Rate | 11-14-2012 23:21 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats to Jack In The Box on their new bacon malt beverage...I'm guessing that one milkshake that WON'T bring "boys to the yard".
←Rate | 02-07-2012 00:47 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw Congress! Me and some drinking buddies have decided we're gonna re-open the government our way!
←Rate | 10-09-2013 19:18 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't watch the royal wedding but I had a disturbing dream that Queen Elizabeth and Queen Latifah did a "chest bump" during the nuptuals! :/
←Rate | 04-29-2011 12:58 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Census Bureau admits to undercounting over a million residents in California.....Congrats to Schwarzenegger for managing to cover up all those illegitimate kids!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 15:55 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the "Situation" should be renamed "Regurgitation" after he stunk up the Donald Trump roast!.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 03:57 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I noticed a lot of celebrities seem to drown in the bathtub...Perhaps a business that tattoos "industrial grade" sand strips to their asses is in order. I'm looking for investors! ツ
←Rate | 02-15-2012 19:18 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold tonight I saw a Rabbi wearing a flannel Yarmulke!
←Rate | 02-12-2012 03:21 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a move to divide California into two states: The state of poverty and the state of bankruptcy.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 00:13 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my girlfriend misunderstood me when I asked if we could go to "the outback" tonight!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 15:23 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the "McRib" which is made from "McAss" and tastes like "McPuke" is so popular, is beyond my comprehension!
←Rate | 11-11-2011 17:26 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I hadn't watch the "Deadly Women" marathon on the I.D. channel before Thankgiving dinner....The meal is a little harder to enjoy when your inspecting the turkey for aresenic!
←Rate | 11-24-2011 16:52 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to congratulate Charlie Sheen on his demotion from CBS to TBS...If he keeps progrssing at this pace, his next stop should be "dinner theater" at an L.A. soup kitchen.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:11 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save energy....The last time I tried it I ran over a guy on a moped!
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:35 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Record temps again tomorrow....If I can find a lemonade stand, I'll be on it like a hillbilly on his half-sister!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 00:29 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bye Bye Moammar!.....Hussein☑ Bin Laden ☑ Ghadafi ☑ Nancy Pelosi ☐ ツ
←Rate | 10-20-2011 14:09 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plan on rivaling the military with my own explosive version of "shock and awe" this evening!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 09:23 by totalpackage Comments (0)  



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