g0re Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It's annoying when people take an unattractive quality they have and try to make it sound cute. "Umm I'm kind of a control freak. Like, I just REALLY like things my way. Ahaha(((:" B!tch shut up.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 20:45 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's especially dangerous to run with scissors when someone nearby is running with rock.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:52 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It makes no sense for a 911 operator to put you on hold: "911 please hold.""Ok, wait. Stop stabbing me for a sec." Murderer: "K"
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:45 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not single, I'm in a long distance relationship with this girl who lives in my future.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:42 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, yellow 5, tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavors...make lemonade.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:47 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon The show "19 Kids and Counting" could easily be renamed "People Hoarders".
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:00 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon yes we know you are heartbroken but please stop posting all those sad youtube songs.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 03:03 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,"In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin' large ones" is not the correct answer.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 02:36 by g0re Comments (1)  

   messageicon Dear family, thanks for putting my empty cereal box back in the cabinet. now I can have disappointment for breakfast.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 03:02 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:59 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever said "you can't fold a piece of paper in half 8 times" has clearly never seen me wipe my a$$ with the last sheet of toilet paper.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Study: The act of eating, browsing the net, and listening to music with an open text book near by.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:14 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon The cheaper the phone, the harder it is to break.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:41 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas except for the person reading this to have an amazing Christmas.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 01:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world, I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 21:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon 2013: The year the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section to comedy.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:30 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nobody likes the guy who stands in the corner of the elevator, hoarding the buttons. Then he asks; what floor? And he smiles, like he's doing you a favor. I WANNA HIT THE BUTTON.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Theres always that cart at walmart with an oval wheel. I'm all like "I wanna go look at games!" but its like "Nah b!tch, we're going to produce"
←Rate | 12-23-2011 14:43 by g0re Comments (0)  

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