XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!
←Rate | 04-22-2012 17:07 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
←Rate | 02-05-2012 21:17 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog
←Rate | 04-18-2012 18:32 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. It did not have Bluetooth, you could not take selfies on it or send any text messages... Even worse! When it rang I'd pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I'm still alive!
←Rate | 03-18-2016 06:13 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a date tonight...with my bed. We're totally gonna sleep together.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:45 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst sanction on Vladimer Putin from USA: if we send Justin Bieber to Russia!
←Rate | 07-11-2014 10:22 by XX-FOXY Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I'm accurate, what's the name of Justin Bieber's first album?
←Rate | 07-29-2012 08:13 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next Wal-Mart Superstore site.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 23:08 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t trust people who smile at 8AM on Mondays…
←Rate | 10-25-2013 16:20 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to tell if a girl is right for you? Text her and say: “Hey I lost my cell phone… Can you call it???” If she calls, move on…
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:34 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kidnapping? I prefer the term "surprise adoption"
←Rate | 05-08-2012 18:25 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a girl stabs you with a knife on the first date… How many days should you wait to ask her out again???
←Rate | 02-09-2012 22:32 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If two Chocolate bars are stuck together it counts as one - so shut up please!
←Rate | 01-18-2015 06:32 by XX-FOXY Comments (1)  


   messageicon Android > BlackBerry > Nokia > Fax > Landline phone > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > iPhone with iOS 11
←Rate | 01-25-2018 13:55 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your girlfriend sees you blow drying pen*s and asks “what are you doing???” Never!!! Never ever tell her - "heating your dinner honey!!!"
←Rate | 03-07-2012 18:26 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bikinis expose 90% of a woman's body, but men are so decent, polite and well-mannered that we only look at the remaining 10% that is covered..
←Rate | 03-18-2016 06:17 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS UPDATE: Donald J. Trump has dropped Mexico, China and Iran from his enemies list and added the 9th Circuit Court and Nordstrom.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 23:31 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
←Rate | 04-17-2012 23:00 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend tellin me " Bro I wasn`t that drunk…." Me: “Dude you destroyed my gf's garden at 4:00AM while shouting and screaming "F**k Farmville!"
←Rate | 02-03-2012 20:44 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best friends in life are those who stand behind you during bad times… To know who our best friends are, just look at your marriage photo album…
←Rate | 04-22-2012 17:05 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  




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