Will Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why is the Sunday paper available on Saturday, does nothing happen that's worth calling news on Saturday?
←Rate | 01-29-2011 19:19 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't Polish people kill frogs? Because it's their national bird.
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:36 by Will Comments (4)  


   messageicon I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
←Rate | 01-25-2011 13:33 by Will Comments (2)  


   messageicon Cab to go to bar: 30 dollars 4 rounds of beer to get your friend to tell you your ex is now a stripper: 70 dollars The look on your ex's face when you shove a single in her buttcrack: PRICELESS!
←Rate | 03-30-2012 17:54 by Will Comments (1)  


   messageicon The guy in front of me was buying condoms with his credit card and it got declined. He just got c0ckblocked by visa..
←Rate | 01-29-2012 21:42 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life
←Rate | 01-28-2011 23:32 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Thanksgivings...Screw the turkey, I want to stuff my woman...
←Rate | 11-25-2009 17:46 by will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just change the name of my ipod to The Titanic. So whenever I plug it in to my computer it says the titanic is syncing.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 13:27 by Will Comments (3)  


   messageicon Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:56 by Will Comments (2)  


   messageicon I bought a car last week. Well, by "bought" I mean "poisoned" and by "car" I mean "my neighbor's dog."
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:11 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 02:36 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian marriage?
←Rate | 01-25-2012 16:20 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 05:24 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I disliked the Mexican one simply because you put hafta
←Rate | 12-22-2011 07:34 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone? It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 09:33 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate meeting super fine on Facebook but pugly in real life girls.
←Rate | 01-17-2012 10:20 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon No woman will ever be truely satisfied on valentines day, because no man will ever have a chocolate peni$ that ejacul@tes money.
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:51 by Will Comments (1)  


   messageicon Everybody needs to believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 13:31 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait to see my girlfriends face in 12 days when I tell her I'm done playing black ops. I'm going to let the happiness soak in for about 2 minutes then turn on modern ware fare 3.
←Rate | 10-27-2011 11:02 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year I'm putting a mistletoe in my back pocket so all my haters can kiss my ass!
←Rate | 12-10-2011 14:14 by Will Comments (0)  



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