SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's too bad you can't punch someone's personality.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 13:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka is the drink of feelings. Whiskey is the drink of revenge against feelings. I'll take one of each, please.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 10:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don't serve breakfast?
←Rate | 09-29-2011 09:58 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just been informed by a porn site that "8 hot nymphos in my area are dying to meet me." I'm understandably stoked.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 10:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dance like no ones watching. Sing like no ones listening. Live everyday like Maury told you its not your baby
←Rate | 11-17-2011 08:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I saw a baby with a bib that said “This dumba$$ put my cape on backwards.”
←Rate | 08-29-2011 13:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 09:55 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 18:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out, "Cowboys & Aliens" is NOT about Arizona's immigration laws.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 11:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is like a relationship, once you think you have it all figured out, everything changes.
←Rate | 09-21-2011 10:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll never see me on Hoarders because I can't afford that much sh!t.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 16:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Filling out my doctors info sheet, listed my twitter followers as my emergency contacts.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 09:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should make Harry Potter brand condoms Protect your slytherin from hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.
←Rate | 07-30-2011 00:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's that time of year again where commercials remind me that I will probably never get a car with a bow on it.
←Rate | 11-21-2011 09:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In real life, I never know when danger is coming because the music doesn't change.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 17:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life
←Rate | 06-06-2012 18:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: you're 11 years old and you have an iPhone, you little sh!t.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 09:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting here watching thousands of dollars worth of food be thrown away on Hell's Kitchen while I eat my Ramen.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the "I'm sick" voice.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 10:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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