Moon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Shout out to all my friends who never post, like or say anything on Facebook, You're my heroes! But if you silent friend's could do me one little favor and like just this one status so I'll know your still out there breathing and actually give a damn wha
←Rate | 03-01-2019 12:40 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just burnt 550 calories without doing anything. And that's the last time I look at Facebook with pizza in the oven!
←Rate | 07-06-2019 14:32 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Last year my New Year's resolution was to loss 30 lbs and now that we're about to ring in another New Year I'm happy to say that I've only got 40 more pounds to go!
←Rate | 12-31-2019 23:04 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just when I was getting use to writing 2019
←Rate | 01-01-2020 10:11 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so old I......just forgot what I was going to post?
←Rate | 01-04-2020 13:55 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The problem with driving an old air-cooled Volkswagen bus is kids keep mistaking it as an ice cream truck, and the worst part is it's so slow they could almost catch you.
←Rate | 01-23-2020 13:21 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chalkboards are a remarkable invention.
←Rate | 02-16-2020 20:35 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's raining it's pouring and.......I never claimed to be a poet.
←Rate | 03-03-2020 13:57 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon One day we'll all be just a memory in people's lives, the trick is to make sure you do everything humanly possible to be a good memory. By, The cashier at Chipotle
←Rate | 03-10-2020 15:48 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon And suddenly people don't wonder any more if your living life to the fullest or have completely given up when you walk into the supermarket wearing pajamas.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 10:10 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe my New Year's resolution to hang out with more than three of my Facebook friends in 2020 was asking for too much?
←Rate | 04-29-2020 13:22 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, A beautiful day for a socially distancing neighbor.
←Rate | 05-03-2020 12:59 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've come to the conclusion that my Alexa is just another pet by how often I have to tell her no every day.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 13:56 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a girl says "Aw that's that's very sweet of you" to a male friend who asks her out on a date what she's really trying to say is "Back into the friends zone with you!"
←Rate | 12-27-2018 15:08 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon So if no one posted pictures of the lunar eclipse for friends who don't look up from their phones did it really happen?
←Rate | 01-21-2019 01:00 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rain rain go away so I don't waste all my time staring at Facebook all day.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 09:20 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever designed my new phone that uses power to light up, beep and shake on and off for 15 minutes or so before it dies should be fired.
←Rate | 06-28-2019 02:22 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shout out to the guy in the Beamer who gave me the finger for honking and waving at him. Your cell phone is on the roof of your car!
←Rate | 07-22-2019 12:08 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you touch your phone in all the right places a pizza will arrive at your door.
←Rate | 12-18-2018 10:09 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roses are red, facebook is blue no mutual friends, who the hell are you?
←Rate | 10-29-2018 22:48 by Moon Comments (0)  

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